The Fighter

Chapter 19

I always said I wasn't afraid of anything.

I actually was afraid of everything.

You say you aren't afraid of anything because you wanted to believe.

You are only brave when you need to be brave.

And that's what I had to do today.

I had to be brave. 

I didn't get much sleep last night. My anxiety kept me up all night. Filling my thoughts of everything that could possibly go wrong today. 

I probably cried 4 times during the night thinking about all of this.

It seem so far away, the finals, but it was here and I was fucking terrified.

I was terrified for me,

For my friends,

And for Aiden.

I still didn't know what to expect, but I can't think like this anymore.

After this I might not see him again and that is something I have to accept.

I heard a soft knock on my door and I told them to come in. 

Jackson walked in dressed in a blue button up and white slacks and brown dress shoes.

He gave me a small smile, "We have to go Vick."

"Why? The tournament isn't for another couple hours," I said to him.

"You have to do a press conference with Aiden and then I have to do a final vital check and get you ready for tonight," he said.

I nodded, "Okay let me get change," getting up from the bed.

"Wear something nice," he called out before walking out my room.

I looked in the closet deciding on what to wear.

I guess I should wear a dress. You know go out in style. I grabbed this light purple t-shirt dress with the straps hanging low.

I put on sandals and comb through my hair. I was never a person to car about appearances. I only wore dresses when I was a kid because of my mom, but I always preferred jeans or sweats. 

I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed.

Showtime.

I walked out the door to see Jackson leaning against the wall. He looked at me and smile.

"I didn't think you would wear a dress," he said.

I shrugged, "might as well."

He chuckled and nodded to follow him.

We walked in silence halfway there until Jackson said something that ripped me through my core.

"I know you feel like you have to throw the fight," He says, "but you don't have too."

I didn't say anything I just kept walking and sighed.

"You deserve this win. Even if all hell breaks loose, you deserve to feel like a champion," he continues.

"Just because I win doesn't mean I'll feel like a champion," I said to him.

I have everything to lose if I win. 

"And just because you lose won't make you feel like a saint either," he said.

I looked at him with a confused look on my face.