Trust Me (An Islamic Love Story)

Chapter 44

I hold Azar's wrist and try to check his pulse, but I can't hear anything over my own heartbeat. It is not the time to panic, Abeer. I tell myself, trying to slow down my heartbeat, but I can't.

"Hello? Abeer?" Baba finally picks up the phone.

"Baba!" I let out a cry. "Azar! Baba, Azar!"

"Abeer, what happened? Where are you?" he questions me.

"Outside our house. He's shot. I don't know how it happened, but please come. He is bleeding a lot. I don't know what to do," I recount in panic.

In moments, Baba and Mama rush outside. Baba starts the car, and we take Azar to the hospital. I feel as if my body's going to explode. My heart is not steadying. Mama's cries feel distant compared to it. Everything does.

He was okay, I think hazily. He was right behind me. What happened? How...?

I can't breathe. Calm down, Abeer. No, I can't breathe.

Azar...

Breathe...

No, I can't. I just can't.

Mom arrives and hugs me, sobbing. I can't even hug her back. I can't move. I can't cry. The tears are frozen in my eyes. The shock stilled them too. I pull away, and she embraces Mama. They cry as if they have already begun mourning, yet I feel as if I am lost in another world, the moments on repeat in my head. Nothing makes sense. I can see in front of my eyes, is the way his shirt turned red, the way he looked at me.

I can almost hear his amused voice. I can almost feel his arms comforting me to bring me out of this nightmare. I stare at my hands which are covered in his blood. I slowly slip away from the room, and then I break into a run. I don't know where I am going. I don't know how I can be numb and feel so much pain at the same time. I stop when I hear someone call my name. I turn around to see Mom. I meet her watering eyes.

"How did this happen, Abeer? Who did this?" She prompts.

I shake my head slightly, my lips sealed. Come on, Abeer, you can do this. You are strong. You are so strong, Abeer. Come on. "I didn't see who it was," I push myself to answer, my voice croaky, yet my heart pounds loudly, mad and desperate because it can feel it was him. I know it is him... it is Raheesh for sure... I wish to say, but don't dare to. "Az- We both came home... and I was heading to the house when... I heard him scream and I turned around... and there was blood... blood everywhere... there was a hole punctured in his chest... he was shot..."

"Oh, Allah please, let him be okay," Mom prays.

"Don't worry, In Sha Allah, he will be," I say despite what is going on in my mind, despite the doubt blurring my thoughts, despite the heaviness that weighs down my heart, I say them regardless; I say them as if my last and only hope is woven in those words.

Allah...

I repeat His Name over and over in my mind. Every time I do so, I feel more desperate; the wish to be answered and to be consoled overwhelms me over and over. How can a human bear so much pain? How can I bear so much pain? Am I even alive? How am I still breathing?

I realize Mom has brought me back to the waiting room. I hear voices. I hear the hushed voices of Azar's and my parents, but I don't know what they are saying. A female police officer enters the room. "I know all of you are in shock, but I still need to ask some questions so that we can find the culprit. Please be cooperative." She looks at me and asks, "You are the only witness, am I correct?"

I nod. "What were you two doing in the garage?"

"We were returning from somewhere," I reply, almost not recognizing my voice.