𝑶𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔

t w e l v e

The thing about love is that you don't realize how much you've changed and how much the person you've in love with could change you.

Lenita being one of those people.

Except that it wasn't for the greater good and you could see that this so called love was slowly destroying her.

However she didn't realize it at first, she didn't realize the dark circles underneath her eyes, the ones that makeup could no longer cover, the ones caused by the sleepless nights. Whether it be because of the yelling or the crying.

She didn't know the person she said was her only source of happiness was slowly ripping her apart.

She didn't notice or she didn't seem to care. At this point she didn't really seem to care.

School didn't really seem to matter to her it went from her going everyday to going twice a week to going whenever she could to her talking to her dean about dropping out.

Lenita tried her best to maintain her grades and to do what she could to graduate on time.

But when his voice lingers in her thoughts from every waking moment telling her that "you're not smart enough" or "you would never be good enough" or how there was point in working for a degree she would never use.

And the love... the happiness that she thought she had was slowly making her hate. She didn't mean to because the little love she always had in her, she always meant to keep however she could only hang on for so long.

So at this point school was only a distant thought and then it just became a nagging thought and so she decided to drop out.

This was good for me, she would tell herself over and over again because that's what Harry would tell her and that's what she believed and what she believed was that she was good for nothing.

"You don't need school, my sweet girl," he would whisper in her ear. "I will take care of you always, I will be the only one to take care of you. And you can never leave me." But the last part was murmured but she swear she heard it however it did not matter because he was right.

Work didn't seem to matter. Most of the time she would just call in sick, Harry firmly disagreeing when she did try to leave, putting firm pressure to her throat and wrist if she tried to argue against him.

And she would cry and she would call in sick and she would try to hide the bruises with makeup because if she didn't he would just cry and his sick tears would fall onto the ugly bruises he created and he would tell her how sorry he was.

She didn't want to hear anymore apologizes. The apologies just sounded so sickly to her ears.

Lenita slowly stopped calling in and ended up not going at all. She was just tired. But she continued living for him.

And the occasional days where Harrys parents would return she would wear makeup to cover each inch of her blemished skin and wear his clothes that look far more baggy to hide the fact that she was showing just bone.

She no longer just loved him.

She feared him.

But she feared him more than love.

"Tell me you love me, lovely girl. Tell me you don't know what you would do without me."

And with no hesitation she would tell him, she would tell him what he wanted to hear because she was so scared of what would happen if she didn't.

The most sick part is that he wasn't always like this and she missed the days where she would make fun of his cooking and he would be the one to save her from the damage.

Not be the one to damage her even more.

And Lenita hoped... she longed for the day where she would wake up one day and she wouldn't have to worry about saying the wrong thing or to be hesitant of her action and her words.

She hoped that one day she wouldn't jump or suppress a whimper when he touched her.

She wished for the good times, however the good times were long gone and each day just seemed like she was counting down when she would just give up.

But god, why did she love him, why did she love him yet fear him so much that she couldn't leave?

Where would she go? Her mom wanted nothing to do with her and she had no job, no where else to go.

The calls from her friend came to a holt the minute Harry took her phone.

"I love you, Harry," she said, almost to remind him because if he doubted her for a second he would go crazy and she would have to calm him down and only she could calm him.

"I know you do, darling." He kissed her forehead. His cold hands then cupped the side of her face as he observed her face that lacked the makeup she would always wear the cover up the pain and the lies. "You okay? You look tired, Nita."

"Just haven't been getting much sleep is all," she said with a weak smile and closed her eyes before she let a tear slide down her bruised cheek. "I promise i'm fine just need to lay down for awhile."

"Okay..." he trailed off. "Your friend keeps calling. I don't know why, you told her to stop calling you right?"

She nodded immediately. "Yes I did. Of course I did!"

"Then why won't she stop calling you?"

"I-I don't- I can tell her.... Just give me my phone and I'll tell her to stop calling me."

"Are you lying to me?" She shook her head. "Lenita."

"I'm not! For fucks sake Harry," She yelled and she didn't mean to yell and she wanted to apologize but it was too late as his fingers were wrapped tightly around her already bruised wrist and she was just so tired she wasn't even sure if it really hurt anymore.

"You want to say that again?" He gripped it tighter and she winced. "And choose your words carefully."

"I- I'm sorry- just text her and say i'm done with her- yeah, okay? Tell her whatever you want."

She was tired.

She was close to being done she had no control over her body anymore.

And no more safety in his arms.

She was so close to her breaking point.

"That's a good girl, darling."

"Always know exactly what to say to make me happy."

a.n overdue hi hello. almost done maybe one or two more chapters and the epilogue !!