𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫

survival show (episode 4)

After having the time to relax with your your unit, you got back to work. Your unit had practiced endlessly and were preparing to perform School Life to JYP.

You and Jeongin had gotten lots of help from Jisung, which you greatly appreciated. He helped you with your pronunciation and with the high notes, because you were singing the chorus, and also helped fix your breathing while you were performing so that your vocals would stay stable even while dancing.

The first few days of practicing the song had started okay, you were learning the choreography and gradually getting the hang of the vocals.

But it was on the third day of practicing that the pressure had finally seemed to get to you.

You had stayed later than the other boys in your unit because you couldn't get some of the details of the choreography right. You told the members that you wouldn't take too long, but after around an hour Jisung had decided to check on you to see if you needed any help.

When he entered the practice room, however, he was not prepared to see you curled up in the corner of the room. Your face was buried in your arms which were wrapped around your knees, tears running down your cheeks. He had never seen you like this. You looked broken.

The previous mission had affected you much more than anybody had realised. It made you doubt yourself more than ever, and you had really begun to lose your confidence after your last encounter with JYP.

When you looked up to see who had entered, you didn't even bother to wipe away your tears. You just looked up at Jisung and opened your arms, silently asking for a hug.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" he asked you as he sat beside you and pulled you onto his lap, his arm wrapping around your shoulder. He gave you a gentle smile, urging you to speak to him as he tucked some loose strands of hair behind your ears. You attempted to wipe away some of your tears, but this proved to be useless because they had instantly been replaced by new ones trickling down your cheeks.

"Oppa, I'm terrified. I really don't know if I can do it this time," you sobbed into his chest as you tried to continue, Jisung just barely making out your words. "The response we got from PD-nim at the last mission keeps playing in my mind, that I'm lacking. What if I end up debuting with you and other people think the same thing, what it I don't even end up debuting with you at all because I'm not good enough?"

Jisung's heart ached at the sight of you breaking down right in front of his eyes.

You were always the smiley maknae who could get through anything, and you could achieve anything you set your mind to. But this time, you couldn't even stand up.

It was at this moment that Jisung was reminded of just how young you actually are. The boys often forget that you're still a child at heart, and they hadn't noticed how much these little things had affected you because you constantly kept a smile on your face and kept everyone happy.

You knew from the beginning that being the only female in the group would bring you attention, but you hadn't realised the weight of that fact until the evaluation of your first mission. When JYP criticised you, each comment had hit you more than you realised.

"Byeollie, you are beautiful and amazing and talented. Don't let anybody or anything cause you to think otherwise. You have so much potential, you just need to prove that to yourself. We all know and see how special you are, but you need to understand and see it yourself. Because you can do and be anything you want, so don't let this get to your head okay," he comforted you.

This was his first time seeing you cry so he was caught off guard at first, but that didn't stop his caring instincts from kicking in. He seemed to know exactly what to say to make you feel better, your first smile of the day finally making its way onto your face.