It feels confinement only made it worse Gave me more hours to stare myself down wondering. God why me?
I hate my arms, I hate my face, I hate my body I hate my brain most of all, the possessor of all these hateful thoughts .
I want to look in the mirror and feel confident in me and how far I've come, but it seems no matter where I reach someone has something negative to share And I'm still my worst critic.
Critizing my every action, the way I walk, I talk, I eat. Soon I'll be critizing the rhythm in which I breath.
Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? A point when you become immune to these feelings. A point when everyday is a good day and every subtle glance at the mirror is met back with a confident smile and nod?
I hope one day I can answer that and I really hope the answer is yes.
AUTHOR'S NOTE At this point I'm writing about pretty much anything. Barely anyone reads it and if they do, their freaking random strangers. I feel like self hate and body dsymorphia have become kind of normalized. You hear so much self deprecating humour these days, I'm just like dude who asked? It's like being insecure should be regular, you know? when that is not the case. Self love and confidence needs to be the normality. I very much know you can't wake up and scream and know you're fucking beautiful and amazing cause that's not realistic neither would it work. But I'm ready to try whatever, cause being insecure is not a good feeling AT ALL!!
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