How did I fall down the ladder so quickly?
Quietly yet precisely?
That I hadn't even noticed I lost my footing, till I reached rock bottom,
Smacked my head against the concrete,
And bled out my misery like an evil scent entrapping even those above,
climbing the ladder to freedom.
They moved faster, ran in fact from the dangerous ooze pouring out from "the derelict" and I was all alone.
Left alone to deal with my insatiable past, ready to swoop in and knock any progress in the present and the future.
Left alone, with the demons that taunt me relentlessly when I try to take even a step to the ladder of recovery. They shoot me down with verbal arrows, remind I don't have any faith and even if I did, my sins are too numerous for me to be saved.
Left alone not only externally but internally. I feel empty. I feel unsatisfied. I feel unimportant. I feel insignificant.
Sad
More sad
Most sad
Depressed.
