26. Sister Bonding Experiment (Failure)

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I had known my sister for years in the sense that our two rooms were right next to each other, and we sometimes talked and hung out as a family with our parents. But I didn't truly know her. I didn't know her favorite colour or subject. I didn't know if she had ever had a boyfriend, and I didn't know what went on in that muddled brain of hers. My knuckles rapped on her door.

"Mom?" she asked.

I leaned against the wall and knocked again.

There was a curse, and the rush of approaching steps as she moved towards the door. She opened it; her face contorted in anger, her black hair, a wild mane around her oval face. "What?" she spat.

I smiled and held up the two iced cappuccinos I was carrying. "I thought we could talk."

She paused to study me, then with a small nod, she took one of the drinks and walked over to her bed. She was dressed simply in one of my old white T-shirts with a faded logo, and black sweatpants. She sat cross-legged on her bed while I took the swivel chair by her study desk.

The room was painted plum red. There was a collage of photographs of family and friends above the bed's headboard. Light reflected off the gold trophies sitting on wooden shelves. Some she had gotten from math competitions, others from badminton or volleyball.

They reminded me of the matter that was bothering me. Juliana seemed perfect, but I didn't buy it. She had to have some dirt on her; something to make her human. The silence was broken by the sounds of us sipping the sugary drink through straws. I watched her for a moment and tilted my head to one side as I thought.

She broke the silence first. "What do you want?"

I picked up the calculus textbook from her dresser, glancing at the parts she had highlighted. I put the book down, chose my words carefully, and said, "I want to thank you for looking out for me recently."

She said, "We're family, so—"

I cut her off, saying, "No, it's alright. You don't have to explain why you did what you did. I'm simply saying thank you."

"Okay?" A question sat in the way she knitted her brows.

This wasn't going anywhere; I changed the subject to probe for more details. "So, I heard you and Delilah are the top picks for prom queen."

"I heard that too, but I'm more interested in being our grade's valedictorian.... Actually, no, I didn't hear that. I heard that May and I were the top picks, not Delilah and me. I don't know a Delilah."

I told her, "Delilah and May are the same person.... By the way, I voted for you to be Valedictorian."

The ghost of a smile sat on her face as she said, "Thanks, I guess. But why do you call her Delilah?"

"She is an evil demon's spawn."

She chuckled and said, "You and your imagination."

"I have a brilliant imagination; I could write a story someday," I told her. "And the punch you gave her was good, but it could have been better. You should have made her bleed. Next time, really put your weight into it."

She bobbed her head from side to side and said, "Assuming there is a next time."

"There's always a next time."

She was looking at me strangely; the expression on her face was one I didn't know. After an awkward stretch of silence, she said, "Some of the girls thought it would be funny to vote for you to be prom king. You and Naomi have been doing the cheesiest Romeo and Juliet dance anyone has ever seen in our school's history. Hence, why people keep calling you Romeo."

Oh, I had wondered where I had gotten that nickname from. But prom king? Me? I hadn't planned for that. It reminded me of Carrie, and how the unsuspecting girl had gone up on the stage in a beautiful dress only to be drenched in pig's blood.

I liked to be two steps ahead of my opponent; if someone planned to prank me at prom, I wanted to know about it. I had a long list of enemies. I clenched my teeth, feeling the muscles in my jaw rippling.

Juliana asked, "You okay?"

"Yeah, just thinking."

"About what?"

"Before the whole prom king stuff, I was wondering about you. What are you really? Who are you? I mean, I know you are perfectionist, but there's got to be more to you than that. Tell me about you."

"When have you ever wanted to know anything about me?"

"I'm asking now, aren't I?"

She said, "It's a little too late for that, Val."

"Look, I'm sorry. I've been a shitty sister to you, and you've been a shitty sister to me. Let's start over with a clean slate. How about this? We don't have to talk if you don't want to. We can go for a run."

"Okay. Let me put my hair up." She left her bed and went over to her dresser. She held an elastic in her mouth as she ran her fingers through her hair and gathered it in a high ponytail. She captured it in the elastic and somehow managed to look pretty decent as the hairstyle complimented her sharp cheekbones. Her eyes focused on mine. "You ready?"

"Sure."

***

Juliana and I ran around the path that circled the lake. The air was fresh and light; a cool breeze brushed our clothes. We kept an even pace as we jogged across the pavement. After winter's assault, the trees bore new, dark green leaves. The earth smelled as if it had recently been soaked by rain. Far above our heads, ambers and violets painted the sky as the sun sank. It was a thing of beauty.

After ten laps or so, we both sat on a bench facing the lake without a word. We simply had the same idea at the same time. Maybe we were a tiny bit alike in that manner.

I picked up a handful of pebbles and tossed them into the lake, listening to them splash before sinking. I said, "So, did anyone ask you to the prom?"

"A few guys."

"Did you say 'yes' to any of them?"

She leaned back against the chair. "I didn't feel attracted to them."

"Is there someone you like?" I asked.

"No."

Silence.

"Maybe you're gay like me," I said with a slow smile. "Maybe you prefer girls. Guys are boring, you know? But the right girl can make your life magical."

"You're the last person I want love advice from, and, no I'm not gay, I don't feel anything towards girls either."

"To each his own, I guess."

"To each his own, and now you know a little about me."

"Hmm." All I had gotten from that was she wasn't attracted to anyone. She hadn't really said anything of importance. I stood and stretched my arms behind my back. "Prom is in two days; are you going?"

"With friends."

It was the same secretive Juliana.

I gave her a small smile. "You know, you are my twin, and since I'm a decent person, then obviously you are too."

"Obviously," she said, returning the smile.

"What I'm saying is you don't have to force yourself to love anyone. I know guys can put a lot of pressure on the girls they like, heck, girls do the same thing to each other sometimes. But do what makes you happy."

"You too." She raised her fist, and I gently bumped mine against hers. "How are things going with Naomi?" she asked.

"Good. Things are good."

She stood and put her hands into her pockets as we walked down the path towards the parking lot. Towards home. "So, we talked," she said.

"Yeah, we did."

"It was weird."

"It was."

We glanced at each other sidelong and chuckled. Something told me we wouldn't be doing this again any time soon. It was too bloody awkward for us to open our hearts up to each other.

***

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