depth of darkness || nakahara chuuya x reader

22

the brilliance of being ignored is the dull ache in the bottom of your heart, even as one who
doesn't yet understand the meaning of yearning for someone as much as you are. the tears that sting the corners of your eyes as one day goes by, then two, and then three.

it seems only that the comfort you take in kouyou's motherly presence is the type of childlike salvation you'd been searching for, although it does little to take away the hurting, kouyou's aura and presence does well to distract you. even if only for a few minutes.

although you recognized the habit, you would deny to anyone that asked, that you found yourself staring at your phone every once in a while. hoping maybe that it would light up with a text, or a call from the feisty executive you adored so much.

adoration.

could that be what this is?

but while the word was comfortable on your tongue, you felt a few more trying to force their way past your lips, as if the stench of recognition of ones own feelings were forcing them out of their cage. a cage made of your own ignorance and innocence of your own emotions.

but don't i like him?

as a friend. the word friend was immediately supplied, but the word didn't sit right in your chest, and you physically couldn't speak the word aloud in regard of the ginger male.

not a friend?

the emotions you felt so familiarly in your chest whenever the executive was brought to mind cane rushing through, a tidal wave against a city of glass.

definitely not a friend. i don't-

i do.

the small sigh of realization that escapes you sounds so loud in your own ears, and you feel the embarrassment of your obliviousness of your own damn feelings rising up, challenging the love you feel for chuuya for dominance over your chest.

love. a name to the indescribable emotion.

it sat right, it felt good to think about it like that. the warmth in your chest returns with a soft flutter, offering your mind a bit of serenity after fighting for so long over what it is you feel.

you let out a low chuckle, laughing to yourself in the dim lighting of your room, the only light being from the couple small candles you'd purchased on your last shopping adventure. how had you missed your own emotions for so long? how had you not understood?

you let out another sigh, flopping down onto the edge of your bed as you check the time on your phone.

1:49

far too late to make a call to the executive. and besides, would you even be able to get the words out of your mouth? after fighting with yourself for so long, is it really fair to add more complications to his life too? what if he doesn't want to see you again? what if you really hurt him when you hung up like that?

you shake your head, an attempt at clearing the thoughts from it as you stand and pace the room, stopping at the window to admire the view. the city lights always calm you down, especially when a full moon is amongst them, accentuating the night with its lovely white light, a well needed (in your opinion) contrast to the yellow and red of the street lights.

the anxious biting of your lower lip as you contemplate your next move continues, but your thoughts are cut off abruptly by a loud, demanding knock at your bedroom door, startling you greatly. you spin around to face the entrance of your room, and step forward, intent on giving whoever it was at your door at this time of night the biggest smack down of their whole entire life.