Rebel Heart [#1]

TEN - Killjoy

"I loved him, yes." My head bobs up and down in agreement.

The keyword being loved. Past tense.

His gaze scorches the skin on the side of my head and I can sense it.

"But that's the past and I want it to stay there. I am moving on now, no need to dwell into that." He nods back at me.

"So, no chances of going back to him?" he insists.

"Not in this lifetime, no," I state. "I don't need no man in my life."

"I am curious though..." he trails off.

My eyebrow raises, in question, as he rubs the back of his neck, obviously embarrassed.

"Are you planning on keeping celibacy for long? Don't you... uhm... have urges?

I can't help but laugh. For someone that carries himself quite assured, he sure seems hesitant.

"Keeping celibacy? I mean, not on purpose."

But in a way, I guess you could say that? Damn, I may need to change it. Maybe one-night-stands don't sound so bad after all.

"I can go and have sex if I want, I just haven't felt like it... yet."

I mean, I might have. I just won't admit it out loud.

"Then you don't, uhm, get off? At all?" The Adam apple of his throat bobs up and down.

"I do." I laugh. "Quite often really, there are vibrators and hands. I, for example, have two perfectly working hands. They do a wonderful job, might I add." I smirk at him, unashamedly.

He coughs, probably trying to cover for any embarrassment on how quickly this conversation went off the rails.

I don't know what got to me but when he finally recovers from his coughing fit, I lean closer to him. Using my hands as support on his shoulder, I balance myself on my toes to bring my mouth close to his ear.

"I guess we, women, don't need men for anything after all," I whisper.

I might not be as sexy as I am intending to be but I can accept my action as successful since his body tenses right away. In a fit of courage, I brush my lips over his skin underneath his ear, right on the curve of his tattooed neck.

Just as I am about to pull away, I see his jaw clench and feel his hand snake around my waist, bringing me close to him again, now even more than before.

My skin tingles with excitement, making me want more and more.

This is... exhilarating.

A successful mission, to see that I do affect him as much as he affects me and that feels satisfactory in itself.