heavenly ✓

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 34

♡︎𝚘𝚙𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚊'𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚟♡︎

"Elodie stop" i said after watching her for a whole minute.

"what?" she glanced up from her phone screen.

"firstly you look like you' re about to cry, secondly you said you were searching for a movie to watch."

"i got distracted a bit. i just really like this shop's new collection. but it's too damn expensive, and i have bills to pay." she paused "lately, i really look at clothes and cry"

"lods you need to find hobbies that doesn't include your credit card." i sighed.

"let's go make something." and with that we spend w whole two hours, making a mess out of my kitchen, then another hour cleaning everything up.

We sat in my bedroom on my queen sized bed after we both took a turn to shower due to the disaster that we made not so long ago.

" how are you and lucas?" i asked.

"he's a dork. but i'm into it." complete goals.

"how is your single life" she questioned me. ti be honest, i'll never mind if Elodie opened these subjects, especially my dating life after Alexander. i really need to talk about it and let it out.

"you know what i finally realized?" i looked her in the eye..

"it's okay to enjoy my own company. More importantly, it's okay to be happy with who i am".

"but it kinda hurts." i continued looking at Elodie who gave me a look of encouragement.

"looking into his warm hazel eyes right as the sun hit them and watching them melt into honey that you know you'll never be able to see up close. It's brushing your arm against his on accident and feeling chills run down your body just as he feels nothing. It's feeling something you can't explain every time you see him, as he's not really giving you a second glance. "

" but the worst part?" i chocked out, tears filling my throat.

" it's knowing that no matter how much you wanted him, he chose her... he chose her.. he chose her. " tests were soaking up my face at this moment.

"he loved you ophelia. he still does. you should probably talk this out with him since you both can't let go." Elodie said hugging me.

"yes somehow i felt it. but he didn't love himself. He saw himself as a bad guy, a guy who destroyed the good and ruined everything in his path. So he forced himself to do just that. to ruin us, to destroy what we had."

"would you go back?"

"yes" because as sickly as it is, and even if he would break me again. I would do anything to have him one more time.

"it's like this unavoidable pang in your chest. This heaviness, a shortness of breath you can't ignore. But the more you pay attention to it, the more intense the stinging in your yes become. it's this emptiness, this sadness that's all consuming because all you can think of is how they're gone. and all you can wonder is why you weren't enough for them to stay." i whipped my tears furiously."love is freaking overrated, it always leave you empty in the end"

"don't you think it's worth it?" mumbled Elodie.

"it is worth everything lods. especially if he's your person" i looked up trying to blink away the new tears.

"at late nights, he used to tell me how he thought i was beautiful, we shared our deepest secrets and what we thought about other people. We had endless conversations and flirted a lot. He always told me to sleep earlier and take care of my health. He used to tell me he loved me and i used to believe him. I believed that there was someone who actually cared and who i can trust. But that day, he just left me hanging without much of an explanation, everything he said so sincerely seemed like nothing. "

"ophelia, i don't know the whole story. i barely got any words about it from Lucas, and he only said those so i won't beat up Alexander every time i see him. and i know i still don't like him nor trust him.. but there's more to it. When you were away, Xavier got into jail after months of both alex and lucas working on something. and trust me i barely saw my boyfriend in that while " Xavier is in jail!!?

" w- what?" i was damn confused.

" i know that you love him oph. there's something between you two that screams soulmates. and i swear i would never say something if i didn't think it would be right for you" she explained.

"lods, i can't really just go back to him. i won't let him get away with anything he did. i'll just do whatever i find right in the moment, and i won't get my hopes up and expect any more of a relationship with him again." i said getting under the covers.

"as you should babe. now let's sleep since you need to go and try a shift at the hospital." and with that we both laid down, in a few minutes i fell asleep.

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i woke up to rays of sunlight illuminating my room and to a very annoying alarm sound that kept going on and on.

" i swear if you don't shut that fucker up i'll shut you with it." screamed Elodie, putting her pillow on her head.

i stopped the alarm and went to the bathroom, did my business, styled my hair and applied some makeup. Then i picked a comfortable outfit from my closet and brought my white coat, putting it in my bag.

i left Elodie a note on the counter after i drank my coffee and as i was collecting my stuff, the doorbell rang.

i opened the door but no one was there. only a bouquet of roses with a patisserie box and a not that said

"i know you forgot your breakfast, so here's something you can eat fastly.
i'm proud of you ♡︎. 𓆙."

that stupid ass fucker really thought it would do.