The Heart Knows

Chapter Nine

Robert called me many times. After class I spent hour to sit in the garden in front of my building alone, wondering what will I do next to get to know who was the girl with Robert at lunchtime.

I thought I was alone but Mr. Nicholas was in the garden too reading a thick book. He looks so into the book and not care about surrounding. I have no guts to start conversation with him because you know, he's an assistant professor.

Literally my professor for one semester. I should not act like friend with him right.

'I don't want to go home tonight,' I tell myself and put my head across my hands on the table. I close my eyes, relax is no where to find right now.

"Like hell! Becca!" Robert's yelling mile away from me, walking towards me. "Why didn't you answer any of my calls?" He takes a seat next to me.

I sigh and look at him, he's furious.

"What now?" Still raising his voice, "you don't want to talk to me?"

He hits the table as I didn't answer his questions. My body jumps in reflection by the sounds he made. I study him and his next reaction. Will he hit me if I keep ignoring him?

Robert grabs my hand roughly, "tell me!" His eyes are on me "why are you ignoring me now?"

My hands are shaking, I am terrified by his anger. He never gets mad at me for the last two years, not until after break up.

"I didn't know you call me," I lie. Trying to free my hand from his. It's getting hurt now.

"Don't talk shit, I knew you lie"

I'm glad classes are over thirty minutes ago in this building and no student will hear his yelling and anger. I stare at him not knowing what should I say. I hear him cursed.

Trying so hard not to cry in front of him now, I don't want to show him another weakness of me.

"Oh hell, are you going to cry now?" he lets go my hand with smirk.

"I don't understand you," is all I can say.

He glare at me, "what you don't understand Rebecca?" His question makes me freeze. I don't want to create another problem in this situation. He's angry enough even without me asking him went out with a girl.

"Fuck!, can't you talk Becca?" His voice is loud enough for everyone to hear in the garden and building next to me.

He raise his hand on me, I gasp and plea to stop. "Please, I admit I did a mistake by ignore your calls, but it wasn't my intention." I take his another hand on the table and squeeze it with my two hands.

His eyes getting soft, anger still there but at least not furious like seconds ago. "Why you make things hard Becca!" he pulls his hand from mine.

"I'm sorry, I was mad about something." I am trying to calm the situation. His action is enough for me to hate him, but something inside me is stupid enough to forgive him again. Why would I apologise? He's the one who raise his hand on me. I did nothing wrong.

"Becca!" His high tone makes me come back in reality. "You didn't hear me talking, aren't you?"

I nod scared.

He stand up, "damn, Becca!."

Another voice startles me, "excuse me?"

Robert moves to find the voice behind him. "What?" He asks rudely. I look over Robert's body to see Mr. Nicholas is standing near us. My cheeks are burning. I'm blinking faster to stop the tears from falling down.