Deathless

Chapter 40: Millie

Everything falls. I'm tumbling over a cliff, the hard ground rushing to meet me even as my feet remain rooted to the spot. I cry out, my hand going to my mouth. My legs feel weak. My throat is dry like bone. I'm looking at the boy I love—his obsidian hair, the molten metal of his eyes, his broad shoulders. All so familiar, and now so alien. So lost to me.

"Millie, I..." He takes a step forward, but I back away. The idea of him touching me, breathing the same air that I breathe, horrifies me.

"Get away from me!" I yell, moving backwards till I hit the metal blinds that cover the glass wall separating this office from the rest of the floor. From behind the desk, Lucius stands up, his eyes narrowing.

"Can you hear that? Someone's outside," he murmurs, falling silent as he strains to hear. I can't detect anything, but then my mind is focused solely on Jackson, on the potent blend of fear and regret darkening his face.

"You knew my name that night. I... I believed you when you said you'd overheard it. I knew you were lying deep down, but I didn't care. I wanted you so much."

I still do.

The words break through the dark haze of my mind, making me want to throw up. Nothing is frightening me right now, not the end of the world, or winged monsters, but the idea there was still a part of me that still loved him, despite everything. I couldn't bear it. I couldn't recognise that version of myself. I didn't want to. Needing to focus on something else, anything else, I turn away. Looking through a gap in the blinds, at the abandoned desks, overturned chairs, the chunks of concrete hanging from the collapsed ceiling. The spider-web cracks of light shatter the black matte walls. Somewhere I think I can hear the crunch of heavy feet on the coarse carpet.

"Mate, we need to ..." Lucius falls silent. I hear the soft padding of footsteps as Jackson walks toward me.

"Millie... I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, I wanted to... I just, I knew you'd never forgive me."

I lean my forehead on the cool glass, welcoming the pain as the metal blinds dig into my skin.

"You killed her, you took her from me..." My voice is coarse, the words burn my throat until I can't speak anymore.

"It was the Plan. My job is to follow the Plan." His voice sounds pained, desperate.

"When it suits you." I turn to face him. His body slumps at the look on my face. "You broke it when it didn't. You saved me, you broke the Plan..."

"And now you can see what happens when the Plan is ignored."

I look away, tears burning in the corner of my eyes. There's a question on my lips, a question I can't avoid. Mum's face flickers behind my eyelids.

"Did you speak to her? What did she say?" My body goes still as I wait for his response. Jackson swallows hard, and then his mouth curves into a sad smile.

"She was upset to leave you, worried about you." His eyes are mournful, his voice low. "I wished it hadn't been her time, that you didn't have to suffer. I could see how much she meant to you, how much you meant to each other."

The world is swaying. Light dances in front of my eyes as emotion overtakes me, filling my body and pumping through my veins. I'm exhausted, aching with tiredness to the marrow of my bones.

"You killed my mother, and then you let me fall in love with you..." My legs feel weak, and my hand presses on the glass for support.

"Guys..." Lucius rushes around the desk to stand next to me, peering through the blinds. I turn around to join him, my fingers parting the metal strips. Faint black shapes move at the far end of the other room. "They're here. The Death wardens are here. Keep it down."