dirty little secrets → rc

15: confusion, shock & sadness

My eyebrows shot up, I couldn't believe what I'd heard. I stood with my jaw open blinking in disbelief.

"Are you seriously that egotistical" I scoffed placing my hand on his shoulder and shoving him backward except his body didn't move an inch. 

"I didn't fucking leave because of you...why would I leave because of you?" I said in utter disbelief.

"The timing was pretty convenient Lola"

"You can't be serious" I fought the urge to roll my eyes reminding myself of my distaste towards him, more specifically why I hated him.

"One day you just vanished without a word what am I supposed to think" Rafe uttered raising his voice and staring down at me.

"Um that not everything's about you all the damn time" I did roll my eyes this time.

"Then why...tell me fucking why you left!" He yelled suddenly angry and desperately scanning my face trying to find answers.

"No"

"Why the fuck not!" He growled taking a step towards me "Because you know it involves me" He suddenly switched his demeanor taking strands of my hair and twirling them around his finger. I slapped his hand away with an irritated look.

"Not everything is about you!" I finally snapped sending daggers toward him.

"Lola that's a lie I-"

"I almost fucking died!" I roared before slapping my hand over my mouth realizing this is exactly what I didn't want happening. 

I never wanted to admit what happened to anyone especially the one person on earth who irritated me to no end, the person who broke my heart and gave me a reason to drink that night. 

Not that it was anyone's fault except my own.

I couldn't bear to look at Rafe's face instead I found the ceiling quite interesting. 

The silence was painful so I quickly looked down to the ground still avoiding his reaction and began to peel myself off the wall ready to leave the situation entirely.

"What do you mean you almost died?" His voice was shaky as he asked the question.

Rafe's attitude had done a complete 360 turn, he goes from angry to somber in the snap of a finger.

I couldn't keep up with his moods.

I took a deep breath and as my hands began to tremor, I couldn't handle the questions that I knew were coming. 

He would want to know everything that happened and I wasn't...I couldn't talk to him about it.

So I stood up straight and moved my head up to see his look of confusion, shock, and sadness?

I couldn't bear to be in the situation a second longer, to feel his harsh gaze stare into my eyes like he was begging for answers.

I wasn't prepared to give him any answers so I moved off the wall and tried to move past his body but he quickly placed his hands on my arms keeping me in my position.

"Stop" I whispered looking down at his arms entrapping mine.

"Please tell me, Will, please that's all I ask" Rafe pleaded as I refused to look at him, how pathetic of me.

"M-my parents found me in my room...unconscious and-" I tried to explain as I stuttered my words but when I felt tears rim my eyes I knew I couldn't take it anymore. "Can you let go of me?" I whispered looking at his arms.