Dalnim

29

"Let it out Hobi, it has been two days. You both are hurting a lot. We all see it," Seiji said softly. 

Hoseok took a sip of the sprite in his hands. "I don't even want to think about it. Let me pretend like any of this never happened, will you?"

"Fake it till you make it?" 

Hoseok gave a wry laugh.

"No, but I am serious. What really happened that you broke up with your boyfriend of over eleven years?" 

Hoseok stared at her sister, who was looking at the sky from where they were seated on the balcony. "Come with me," He said, grabbing her hands and pulling her up with him.

Walking up to his room, he opened his closet and produced a velvet box from the pockets of one of his tux and passed it on to Seiji. The said girl's eyes were as wide as dinner plates the whole while.

"Y-you were going to propose," She said. "Are you kidding me?"

Hoseok huffed. He opened the box and showed her the thin platinum bands.

"T-these are platinum bands. You are not kidding me," Seiji mumbled. "What the hell Hoseok? Have you gone insane? Why would you break up with him if you were going to propose?!"

Hoseok took the box carefully from her hands and returned it to its place. He plopped down on his bed as Seiji fixed a glare on him. 

"He deserves better. He deserves a lot better than me. He deserves a lot more than I can ever give him."

Seiji's eyes softened as she laid down beside her brother. 

"We had a date that day," Hoseok continued. "And I was going to— you know? I had it all planned. How we can go on a trip to all the places he had ever wanted to go, how we will have a small wedding with only our closest friends and families. I had it down to the flowers we were going to use for decoration and the songs that we were going to dance to."

"What flower was it?"

He smiled sadly. "Yellow lilies."

Seiji nodded. "You had it all laid out. Then...?"

"I... He had a reservation in one of the best hotels. One that I could never afford with the earnings from Hope On The Street alone. Taehyung is a very successful model. He is sought all over the world and he is settling down with someone like... me? When he could literally have anyone else in this world?"

"Money is not everything Hobi. You make him happy. Here, in the heart. And that's what really counts."

"I make him happy now. Alright. But what about, say, thirty years in the future? Would I be able to give him everything that he wants? Needs? Hope On The Street won't go on forever Seiji, I will get old one day. And then what? How will I feed us both?"

Seiji rolled her eyes as he kept on venting all his pent up emotions out. 

"I am the older one here, aren't I? I should be the one doing things, I should be the one having everything in control but no. He is the one who does things for me, not the other way 'round. He is the one who is just a call away whenever I need him. He drops all his work and comes running to me. He even is willing to go against his parents for him and I... I seriously can't let him do that."

"Parents? When did his parents come into the frame?"

Hoseok stayed silent.

"There is more, isn't it?"

"I read his messages once... a long while ago. I didn't mean to but it was by his mother and it seemed like they were trying to pair him up with influential people and he... kept on declining... I looked up for them sometimes later and I am no match for any of them.

"I love him Seiji, I really do. I love him so much that I can't let myself ruin him. It's like I'm the fire and he is the moth being drawn towards me endlessly. I can't do this to him." A silent tear rolled down Hoseok cheeks.

"I really don't know what to say. Or how to make you see past the fake scenario that you created in your mind... But Hobi, what if you are what he truly wants?" Seiji asked.

"He doesn't know what he wants. He thinks I'm what he wants but in the long run, he will regret it."

"What if he doesn't?"

"What if he does?"

"Eleven years Hobi, eleven years! That's how long you have dated! And I think it is long enough to decide if he regrets being with you or not." 

Hoseok sighed. "He is too good to admit that I am not what he wants."

"This is not you. This is so not you Hobi, please. If not for you, at least think of Tae!"

"I don't wanna listen. It will make me even more miserable."

Seiji smirked. "That boy hasn't eaten anything since the last two days. He won't open the door to anyone, not even me or Jimin. He definitely won't pick my calls up. Jimin used the spare key and found him passed out after having a lot more of alcohol than he can handle."

Hoseok's demeanor changed as if just hearing those words hurt him physically. 

"He hasn't stopped crying. You are leaving him on read but he isn't trying to cease the texts. And you know what worries me the most?"

He seemed afraid to hear the answer, but he looked at her nervously. 

"Jimin just texted me saying he found a packet of razors in the bathroom."

"Shit!" Hoseok yelled and without giving her a second look dashed out of the room.

"Here is the jacket, and here are your keys," Seiji yelled back, throwing them down towards him. He hurriedly pulled the jacket inside-out and opening the door in a haste, drove as fast as he could to Taehyung's residence.