minho has an eating disorder.
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"that's a bmi of 17.6", the woman announced, the worried look on her face couldn't conceal her obvious pride about minhos weight loss. "I mean, wow".
minho only shakily exhaled. his stomach twisted, he was lightheaded...
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(◞‸◟)
white.
clear.
breathe.
the building minho was walking in right now was surprisingly cold. he could feel the chill seep through his hoodie, right into his skin and quickly buried his hands in the pocket of his sweats.
despite the cold, minho could feel his sweaty hands stain the inside of his pockets. he bit his lip in an attempt to calm his hazy mind down, trying to force down all the thoughts that had piled up in his head overnight.
he couldn't forget what he saw in the mirror. not quite. and thought it didn't necessarily make him feel bad about himself, it made him just slightly, very slightly, unsure.
he was just a little unsure of stepping on a scale for everyone to see and judge, as they always did. just a bit unsure of the reactions he would get this time.
but not insecure. and not afraid. never.
minho always felt slightly uneasy in this building. not only did the white walls and the white furniture make the place look empty and sad, there was another thing that made minho feel a little colder. like he needed to shiver the moment he set his eyes on them.
hundreds of posters of underweight boys and girls were smiling at him as if he was the most hilarious thing ever. they covered almost every inch of the sad looking halls - no matter where you looked, somebody was looking back at you.
they couldn't be more than 120 pounds. the boys, he meant. the girls? no more than 99.
he saw their chest and shoulder bones, saw how their exposed stomach was so flat that they almost carved in and unknowingly lifted his hand to feel his - he couldn't see it but feel it instantly. he wasn't like them.
why did he feel kind of... jealous?
"ah, there you are!", between the blinding lights and mocking posters, an old woman stepped into the sight of minho and the group. her gray hair and sunken in eyes made her look like she was dressing up for halloween - maybe it was just because the bright light made her look as pale as a vampire though. "you're here for the weight in, ain't ya?".
this had never been a big deal before. as always, they were escorted into the weighting room - it was maybe as big as a class room, also covered in posters and meal plans and with a single, big doctor scale right in the middle.
minho grabbed the loose part of his hoodie. though the building was cold, it was a warm day, that was probably the reason, but he felt a single drop of sweat run down his forehead. he quickly wiped it away and formed his lips into a fine line. he had no reason to be nervous. he was fine.
