fifteen

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How do you tell someone you love them and that you'd spend the rest of your life with them if they asked, but not make it weird?

I sit on my bed and sigh. The promise ring is my hand as I run the opposite hand through my hair. My bedroom door opens and I see my mom, she leans against the door frame and smiles.

"What's wrong son?" She asks as I shove the ring into my pocket.

Tomorrow marks one year me and Madeleine have been together. A year of amazing shit and absolutely craziness.

"Mom- how do you know that you're in love?" I look at her and say, "I mean I would marry Madeleine in a second if she says let's do it, but I know we're still young and i- I don't know what to do."

"Well hun you just kind of know. You've told her you love her?"

I nod, "yeah I did a while ago. I just- I don't know what I'm doing. Like- what if I'm doing something wrong and I just don't know it."

She walks over and sits next to me. "Sometimes- it's hard to know if you're fucking up, but you also know when you're at your happiest." She let's out a deep breath and says, "you and Madeleine are endgame. In any sense you are. I've never in your life seen you so happy before B."

"I am happy."

"I know you are. I can tell even if your not always here with her. You- she loves you a lot. I can see it in the way she looks at you."

I smile as I look down at my boots, "I want to give her a promise ring. I bout it right before we started dating and I just never found the right time to give it to her. And I think I want to give it to her now."

"Yeah?" She smiled to me, "I think you should do it."

"Is there some way I'm supposed to do this? Or do I just go for it?" I look at my mom with hope that she'll have an answer.

She smiles again, "you have to figure that out son."

She stands up and I say, "mom?" She turns to me and nods, telling me to proceed. "Do you think dad would be proud of me at all?"

I shocked myself asking this. I didn't think that is what was going to come out.

I don't care about my dad. He hasn't been back since he moved out.

Him and my mom are just now fully divorced. She's been broken by him and she's finally getting back to being okay again.

"Honestly? I think he would be if he cared enough to stay around. He didn't have to leave you guys when he left me, but he did." She sighs, "your dad never wanted kids. He was set on having one and that's it. When we had twins he stopped caring I guess."

I nod, "yeah maybe he'd care more if he was a better person."

"I'm sorry B," he pulls me into a hug and I sniffle softly.

My mom has always been my hero. Instead of my dad, she was there. She was always by my side side if I didn't need her. My mom stuck by me when I was arrested, when I got into fights at school, anytime I was made fun of or picked on. She's always been a great mom.

"Thanks mom," I sigh softly.

"You're welcome Blade."

We both hear a knock downstairs and my mom says, "I'll get it."

I follow her down, wondering who it could be. She opens the door and sees my dad.

I instantly grab the baseball bat from beside the door. I let it rest on my shoulder and he rolls his eyes. "I'm here to talk to your mother. Not you Blade."

"Talk then," she says.

"Alone."

"I don't think so," I say sternly.

I don't care if he's my dad. If it came down to it I'd hit him with the bat in a second.

"I want to come back home." He sighs, "I'm sorry."

I laugh hysterically, "oh- oh my god. You are funny Daryl. Hilarious even."

"Wh- I wasn't trying to be funny."

"Oh you weren't? Hm? Cause seemed like you said you wanted to come home after cheating on my mom for over a year."

"I want to come home."

"Daryl. You don't deserve to be in this house. On this property even! You cheated. You left! You walked out on us all!" My mom snaps.

He stares at her before saying, "I know, I know. I fucked up. Please just let me come home."

"You've been gone for almost a year. Get the fuck off my property!" She yells.

He sighs and leaves without another word.

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