Cards and Keys

Chapter Eight: Enough To Trust You

Lucy POV

As the sun set on the second phase, we re-boarded the airship and set track for our next challenge. Netero had gathered us all in the hall of the ship. He'd told us that we could pretty much do anything as long as we stayed on board and that the next phase wouldn't start till we landed.

Most people headed off to get some rest, including Leorio and Kurapika. That was the smart thing to do. I briefly considered joining them, but i was still too wired with adrenaline from the last phase to sleep. I'd seen Hisoka walk off with the purple pin-headed man, acting all sketchy and secretive. No surprise there. And Gon and Killua had run off to god knows where, so I was left to my own devices.

I stole a few snacks from the kitchen, which earned me glares from the cooks, then strolled around the ship- hoping I'd tire myself out after a while. Thanks to the size of the ship, I didn't run into anyone. I found myself stopping to peer out of the wide windows that stretched round the corridor. It was dark, but I could see for miles all around, the city and town lights below turning the earth into a sea of luminescence.

I sat on the windowsill, leaning my head against the glass and embracing it's cold kiss. The world below me looked so small. It was weird to think that it wasn't my world that lay below, but a new one entirely. I still hadn't entirely processed it. And I didn't really want to.

The exam had been a welcome distraction and this was perhaps the first moment of peace I'd given myself since it had started. Whether that was was a good thing or not, I didn't know.
Maybe giving myself a chance to think was a bad idea- because without the distraction of the exam, my thoughts were left to wonder. Wonder back to the family and world I'd left behind. Wonder back to the nagging thought of if anyone had noticed I'd gone, or if they're too wrapped up in their own new lives to care. Wonder if I'd ever find anything here that could even come close to completing me like Fairytail had.

I was starting to get the same dull, empty, aching feeling I'd had before I'd met Fairytail. The familiar feeling that I'd felt so long ago, when I'd despondently wonder through the corridors of my childhood home, yearning for someone that cared enough to stick by me.
Was I really back at the start?

I sighed, my breath heavy and loud against the silence of the ship.

Light footsteps echoed down the hallway- the steady tap cutting into the heavy stillness.
I lifted my head, quickly wiping the moisture from my eyes. "Who's there?"

"Just me~What's wrong darling?" Hisoka's feathery voice emerged from the darkness.

"Darling ? That's a new one." I laughed wryly, ignoring his question. Talking to Hisoka about my problems didn't seem very appealing. I was already so confused about being here, about leaving my home- he'd just confuse me more. I'd met the clown a few days ago and yet thinking about him already gave me a headache. He was just too confusing. It'd be better to just brush him off.

But he narrowed his eyes, clearly not buying my bullshit. "Really though~ what's wrong?"

I pressed further into the glass behind me,
unsure what to say. "Fine, I'm just...thinking about the past. Not that it's any of your business." I sighed, avoiding his gaze and opting to look at the floor. He sat beside me, leaning his head back to rest on the glass pane.
"Mm...we all have shadows in our past. But the important thing is not to let them consume us."

"Pfft, have you been reading self help books or something?" I rolled my eyes dismissively, still not meeting his gaze. But what Hisoka had said was...oddly profound. Not one his usual quips.

"Nope~ I came up with that one all on my own." He chucked lowly.
I didn't say anything this time, I just found myself looking at him- trying to make sense.