on the map//spencer 'spider' white

15

Amerie, Harper, and I sit on the jetty.

"Ri and I can't imagine what you've been through, but we want to understand," Amerie tells Harper.

"So are you ready to talk?" I ask.

Harper starts to tell us about all that's happened.

Some things I already knew. Like what happened when we got to the festival. Harper asking to stay at Amerie's because she thinks her house is haunted. Buying drugs from Ca$h. How his friend Chook was eyeing her up.

How we found an 18+ wrist band on the floor of the most disgusting porta potty I have ever been inside of in my life. How I got us all the beers. And then we saw Spider. We didn't talk for long before we went to get our fortunes red. Amerie and I were so into it. We both were told we would find love. Harper just kept saying she didn't believe in that shit.

We went back to the music, but Harper's mood soured. She got a text and then it all went to shit. Amerie and I wanted to drop, and Harper didn't. She threw the drugs into the crowd. I decided I was gonna get another drink and that's when I got separated from everyone else.

Amerie and Harper got separated too. Harper got drunk and then the next thing she remembers is being in a car with Ca$h, Chook, and their dirtbag friends. They said they were gonna drop her at home, but they didn't. When they stopped at a gas station Ca$h unlocked the door and Harper ran. She managed to get away.

She came round mine, but I didn't answer when she knocked. Probably because I was with Spider in my room. She went to Amerie's, but Amerie didn't answer either. So, she went home and when she did her dad tried to attack her. Apparently, he was high on drugs or something. Kept saying something about a wolf. So she shaved her head and went into foster care for a week.

"I am so sorry," I tell Harper.

"So sorry," Amerie says.

"It's okay," Harper says.

"So, I guess you punching me in the face feels pretty justified right now," Amerie reasons.

"And everything else," I offer.

"I wasn't trying to punish you," Harper says. "I really wasn't. Well, I did mean to punch you in the face, but everything else... I don't know. Since... that night, I just haven't felt in control of anything. I just kept fucking things up. And it's like... the more I fuck things up, the more I fuck things up. If that makes sense."

"It makes total sense," I tell her.

"Okay. The cops know about your dad, but what about the eshays?" Amerie asks.

"They should know," I insist.

"What are they gonna do?" Harper asks. "I was drunk. I drank too much, made dumb choices, that's why I was in that car. That's what they'll say."

"This isn't your fault," Amerie assures.

"It doesn't matter," Harper insists. "Those guys, they'd come after me... Punish Ca$h. He's the only reason I made it out of that car."

"Why didn't either of you let me in?" Harper asks.

"I must have been asleep," Amerie tells her. "I swear Harper I don't remember you knocking."

Harper looks at me.

"Spider," I tell her. "He was in my room."

"Wait," Harper says.

"What?" Amerie asks.

"Well, I was really drunk and upset after our fight, and I bumped into him near one of the other stages and he was really strangely sweet to me and, um, we went home together," I explain.