on the map//spencer 'spider' white

23

I sit with Amerie, Harper, Darren, and Quinni in SLTs.

"I rechecked the handwriting samples. None of them matched," Quinni informs us. "Bird Psycho isn't a CUMLORD. I am so close. I feel it in my whole body. I am tingling!"

Jojo leans over our table. "Hey, anything we would like to share with the class around shame and fantasy?"

"What if you don't like what you're feeling?" Missy asks.

"Well, that's normal," Jojo tells her. "Our feelings aren't always reflective of who we want to be."

"Oh, yeah, like sometimes I have sеx dreams about Dorothy the Dinosaur," Sasha admits.

"Oh," Jojo remarks.

"I'd like to "Romp Bomp A Stomp" that din-ussy," Sasha says.

"Actually, that's a great example," Jojo tells us. "Plenty of people have kinks that other people might see as icks."

"Okay. Well, what if something starts as a fantasy, and then all you can do is think about it a lot, and then it becomes something that you wanna do in real life because you feel like it's already happened before, and then all you can do is just think about it until it's something that I never, ever, ever want to think about again," Missy rambles on.

"Oh, my God, don't stop there," Darren tells her.

"I get it," Jojo tells Missy. "Brains are weird, our thoughts can feel overwhelming. But just because you have a thought about something, doesn't mean you have to act on it. But also, sometimes it's worth exploring why you feel ashamed. Enacting a fantasy can be healthy as long as it's consensual, legal, and no one's getting hurt."

I watch as Spider, Sasha, and Amerie get their picture taken in the courtyard. Spider is holding some ridiculously oversized check for the money he raised yesterday.

"With a generous boost to his campaign funding, Spencer White is poised to take the lead with Sasha So following close behind with a modest contribution from the Women's Association," Zoe says over the loudspeaker. "Meanwhile Amerie Wadia's SLT Nation party has received a whopping 50 cents, which she found on the ground outside. Word is on the street she spent it on a Red Frog at the canteen. That's just the kind of poor financial decisions we can expect from Map Bitch if she happens to be elected captain of this school. You've been warned Hartley High. This is Zoe Clark. Thanks for listening and stay deadly, Hartley."

I watch as Spider walks over to Missy. I strain to hear what they're saying.

"So... When are you gonna deliver on our bet?" Spider asks.

"Get fuckеd," Missy tells him.

"Name a time and a place," Spider states.

"In your dreams," Missy remarks.

Spider smiles. "I'll see you there."

What the fuck is going on with those two?

"What are you lot doing mooching around?" Woodsy asks. Ca$h is behind her. "Shouldn't you be in class or something?"

Darren looks surprised to see him. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, uh, my next class is chemistry. So..." Ca$h tells them.

I smile as the two kiss.

Voss comes stomping into the courtyard. "All right, who did it? Who did it?"

Someone dug up all the feeling papers after Amerie, Quinni and I put them back. They're all on cardboard tombstones.

"Bird Psycho," Quinni states.