Dwelling inside of me is a madness that I just can't seem to control. It was unleashed the moment my eyes caught sight of the woman I love collapsing onto the cemented flooring of a stadium. This had to be the most traumatic event of my life, much more traumatic than my past budding addiction to painkillers.
I've been rummaging through my thoughts for the past twelve hours, wondering what I could have done differently to prevent her collapse from happening. It was my fault- all of it was. I knew that her body was changing and with change, comes limitations. The nurse that I had spoken to just a few hours ago claimed that Ophelia was as healthy as can be, including our baby girl. I found that to be a load of bullshit.
But who was I to judge a doctor's intelligence?
I asked for proof of her records and each part of what I had asked for checked out to their narrative. Normal vitals, a healthy diet, and even the shape of her body was deemed to be fit.
So maybe I was wrong.
"You're doin' that thing again," Janet quietly voiced before placing her hand on top of mine. "Stop it."
"I can't," I croaked out while trying to stop my leg from vigorously shaking. "I just... want her to wake up."
"And she will," my sister reassured. "Just give it a little while longer. Look, I gotta head home but please promise me that you'll get some rest soon?"
"I can try," I mumbled while lightly caressing the back of Ophelia's delicate hand. "For her."
"Good."
An hour after Janet's departure, the same irritable shaking in my leg continued. I knew that she would wake at any given moment but it was unsettling to see her lying in bed as if she were in a comatose. I grabbed ahold of Ophelia's hand and gently rubbed its back with my thumb. Her hands were frigid, mostly due to the cool temperature within the hospital. I didn't mind it though.
My touch seemed to have made her body twitch, causing an unintentional sigh to escape my mouth. Just as I was about to call her name, her eyes shot open and tears began to pour from her sockets.
"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" she shouted while springing up from her lying position. I immediately snaked my arms around her, trying my best to comfort her in anyway that I could. I was frightened in this moment because I haven't seen her in such a distraught haze since witnessing her traumatic nightmare-state.
