Nobody Like You

Broken Gaydar

Lia

I have concluded that I will never understand Yeju.

Just this morning, she was so rude to me as we walked to school. And now, she is taking me to her 'favorite hole-in-the-wall Taiwanese restaurant'.

I mean, I am delighted at this change in attitude. But what the heck?

It's a Tuesday afternoon, so there is barely anyone else in the restaurant. After our food arrives, I take a bite of the braised pork Yeju recommended, and I understand why she likes this place—the only thing I can understand about her right now.

"Oh, this is so good," I gush, taking another scoop.

"Right?" Yeju says with a mouth full of food. "It melts in your mouth."

I nod. "I love Taiwanese food and this is phenomenal. Better than anything I've ever tried."

"Told you I have taste. And the flavors are very authentic too. My father lived in Taiwan for a while and he said that this tastes exactly like..." Yeju trails off, her smile fading.

Ah, Taiwan... That is where Chloe's mother is from, and that is where she met Yeju's father. That is where this whole thing started—Chloe's family drama, Yeju's family drama, and Yeju's annoying feud with me in the apartment.

Trying to change the topic, I ask, "Have you been to Taiwan?"

Yeju glances at me and then back at her food. "No. Never left this country."

"Oh, same! Well, I mean, if you don't count the time before I moved here from Korea. I don't even remember what Korea is like anymore, and I want to go back one day."

She lifts her brows, surprised. "When did you move over?"

"Like, when I was two? You know, I only had a Korean name when I moved over." I chuckle in anticipation of this ridiculous story. "And then, my parents wanted so badly to assimilate into the American society, they wanted me to have an English name here. They picked a name from classic literature, thinking that that's going to make me blend in here."

"Classic literature?" Yeju frowns, her eyes darting around as she thinks. "Which one?"

"Shakespeare." I give her a few moments to ponder before I blurt, "Ophelia. From Hamlet?"

Her mouth drops. "No. Fucking. Way. Your name is Ophelia?"

"Yep. Shortened it to Lia 'cause who goes by Ophelia?"

There is a beat of incredulous pause. Then, Yeju snorts, and the both of us lean over the table, chortling.

"Also... get this..." I say between my laughter. "My younger brother's name is... also from good ol' Shakespeare... Romeo."

That somehow causes Yeju to drop her chopsticks, and we take the next few minutes scrambling for some new utensils, still laughing wildly.

"Wait, okay," Yeju says as we calm down. "If he's Romeo, why aren't you Juliet? Oh, yeah, never mind. Not a good pair of names for siblings."

"Yep, although he's probably so sick of people match-making him with anybody named Juliet. There's, like, two girls in our high school whose names were some variants of Juliet, and the entire school would always pretend they're together."

"Argh, kids are so stupid." Yeju rolls her eyes. "Well, you got the better name. There's a song dedicated to you, you know?"

"By The Lumineers, right?" Without thinking, I close my eyes and sing a line. "Oh, Ophelia, you've been on my mind, girl, like a drug..."