No Longer Your Kingdom

6. Not allowed.

Matt's POV

It's been two weeks now. Two weeks... I haven't seen Edd in two whole weeks! Did I do something wrong? Last time, he was so nice to me. We had so much fun. Why do I just keep standing right next to his door and not taking the step? Oh yeah, I can't interrupt him. He has work to do, And so do have I. However, my job is to just stand here. It shouldn't be hard. But why does it feel like torture? Not being able to see him makes me so sad, lonely and empty. He is my crush. I know that. It's obvious. He has been for two years now. But these feelings are new. Why? Why are they stabbing my chest? Why now? Before we spoke and hung out, I was perfectly fine just standing here. At my usual place, just watching him from a distance. And making sure that he was safe and okay. Why am I suddenly craving for more attention?

Breathing was getting harder and harder. Shakily my hand took off my helmet. Cold air hit my face like a refreshing bucket of ice. It calmed me down a little. Sound of a long exhale broke the silence in the endless hallway. "Why am I like this so suddenly?"

The sound of a door opening made me snap out of my thoughts. It was Edd's door. Tord was standing straight next to me. He has been with Edd almost 24/7. I'm jealous of him... Why can't I be next to Edd? Why do I have to be just a Knight? They aren't even laughing. Just dry and meaningless monologues and questions. My head wouldn't last in that kind of friendship.

"Hi buddy, How are you?" Tord's voice sounded somehow so fake. "Nothing much, Just doing my job." I just laughed my jealousy off and waved my hand. "That's good to hear. Have to keep your eyes on King huh?" He chuckled and smirked at me. "But don't get too attached, you know if something happens. Like what if a dragon eats him?"

I just stared at him without blinking. Just widening eyes looking at him in shock. For a good minute I was simply speechless. How can he say something like that?! "You are his right hand man! You just can't say something like that! It's your job too to make sure he is okay with us! What are you thinking!? He is trying to find the solution to our problem! He is not gonna die!"

Tord just stared at my shaking body. And then his expression started slowly getting darker. "How can you be 100% sure? Or what if he does something to himself? Who's gonna stop him?"

Why does he say something like this? I don't understand! "ME! I'm gonna stop him!" Tord seemed to get angry. "Why are you with Edd anyway? You two can't be working 24/7. What is so important that-" Tord took slowly a step towards me. "Jealous~?" His shadow started to look like a devil. Sharp horns reaching towards me threateningly. "No... Just worried." Tord's hand gripped my shoulder. He was really strong. Stronger than I expected him to be. Fear started to crawl inside my chest.

"Maybe you should really get a new crush. Our King is not interested in you like that. He doesn't want to talk to you, Matt. I'm just thinking about your best here. But oh well don't come crying to me how your pure little heart is broken." He came even closer to me and his voice started to get lower. My heart started to hurt like it was burning in hell.

"It's better that way. Trust me Matt. At the end of the day you will get hurt. I know things about Edd and you barely know his favorite color. Besides, are you sure that you want him? I mean I'm not judging you, but really? A small, busy and little chubby man over a beautiful housewife who is good in bed? What a waste. With a face like yours you could have every woman in this kingdom. " Then he slowly started to back off. After that he simply just disappeared in the shadows of the hallway.

Thousands of thoughts were rushing to my mind at the same time. What is that supposed to mean!? Why was Tord so aggressive, but at the same time, he said that he was just thinking of me. Am I not allowed to like Edd? Why? It's not common for two men to like each other. Is there something wrong with me? Or Edd? Maybe Tord is right... But why was he so scary and odd? Why was he thinking stuff like that? I should really keep my eyes on Tord.

Soon I was watching Edd's door again. Missing him is one of the most painful feelings I have ever felt. The urge to just knock the door and go talk to him again was growing. I couldn't help it. Just thinking about his bright smile was like sunshine. It's cheesy to say but that's how I feel. Should I be ashamed about it? duck...How could I know.

And then the door opened again. This time it was Edd. He looked so tired. Dark circles around his sweet chocolate eyes. His normally so neat hair was now a straight mess. "Hi Edd! how are you?" Hoping for some kind of positive answer. My hand started to reach Edd wanting to give him a comforting hug. "I'm ok." His voice was cold as ice. He made my heart freeze by just walking past me. Silently rejecting my hug he walked lazily to the same direction where Tord went. While watching his back a heart inside of my chest cracked a little. I just got my hopes up just to realize that it was all my delusion.

Oh sweet sweet delusion let me go inside of my fantasy again. 

Hi fellows! I just want to inform you about my new posting schedule. I'm currently studying at Upper Secondary School of Visual Art so I just don't have time just as much now. I'm publishing one or two new chapters in a week. chapters will be out mostly at the weekend.

Thank you for understanding and I will see ya in the next chapter.

I love you with all my heart don't you dare to forget that silly.  

This chapter was written on 10th of April 2023.