Everything I Need

82

   I grab a hold of the edge of my desk as I'm teaching and stop talking as I have a sharp pain. All of my students' eyes are on me as I take a deep breath, release it then continue teaching. "Okay everyone, please open up Photoshop on your..." I stop talking once again as I feel another sharp pain. All of my students are also quite and just watching. The quietness of the room is interrupted by a pop sound followed by a warm gush of liquid between my legs, soaking my maternity pants and running onto the floor.

   "Uh... Mrs. James?" One of my students says as she jumps to her feet with her eyes wide. Another student that sits close to the door is on his feet and out my classroom door before I can even question him.

   Before I know it, Lauren is rushing into my classroom followed by my student that left. "What's wrong baby?" She asks as she rushes to me. She happens to glance down and say "oh."

   "I think my water broke but I'm two weeks early. Is he going to be okay? He's going to be okay right?" I ask my wife as I start to panic.

   "Baby, calm down, you know Dr. Walsh said you might go into labor early. He's been healthy every checkup so please don't work yourself up and panic, that's not good for you or him. The hospital bag has been in my car for a month so we're good to go. Come on so I can get you to the hospital." Lauren assures me as she wraps her arm around my back and helps me to my classroom door. Lauren looks back at my students and sternly says "one of you go to Ms. Smith and let her know what's going on. Someone else let the principal know that Mrs. James is going into labor and I'm taking her to the hospital now. They will have to send someone to clean the floor up. Y'all better behave too. Without another word to my students p, we are out my classroom door and heading towards the school exit.

   "Alright, Mrs. James, give me a good push." Dr. Walsh says as Lauren leans in, placing a kiss right by my ear and whispers a quick "I love you."

   Lauren takes my hand as I feel another contraction which hurts worse than the previous ones. "Go ahead and push again, you're doing good," Dr. Walsh says with a friendly smile as she looks at me.

   I raise my head, squeeze Lauren's hand and push as Dr. Walsh instructed. I groan loudly in effort then let my head fall back against the hospital bed pillow. "Why did I agree to push a tiny human through my vagina?"

   Lauren wipes the sweat from my forehead and faintly smiles at me. "Because we wanted another baby and you were eager to do this for us, remember?"

   I nod my head as I feel tears in my eyes realizing that this experience is one Lauren never got to have when pregnant with Taytum and one she will never get to experience.  Now I feel like an asshole for saying that. Before I apologize to my wife though Dr. Walsh says, "you need to keep pushing Mrs. James."

   I tense as I feel another contraction and squeeze Lauren's hand more in the process. "You can do it, baby. You are doing so well." My wife encourages me.

   "You're crowning!" Dr. Walsh exclaims. "On the count of three I need you to push and keep pushing until baby James is out. Take a deep breath." I do as I'm instructed then Dr. Walsh says "okay, one, two, three... push!"

   A loud scream escapes me as I push with every ounce of energy I have while squeezing Lauren's hand. "Keep pushing!" Dr. Walsh exclaims and I push harder as I release another scream and tighten my grip on Lauren's hand. It feels like my vagina is literally being torn in half followed by intense burning pressure. Suddenly a loud wailing noise fills the delivery room and I fall back against the bed gasping for air.

   "Oh my God." I hear Lauren say as she wraps her free arm around my shoulder as she starts crying while I still have a death grip on  her hand. "You did it baby, I'm so proud of you. I love you." She leans in connecting our lips and I feel her tears against my face, mixing with my own tears.

   A nurse takes our son over to clean him while my legs are still open and Dr. Walsh removes the placenta. "We did it and I love you too." Soon she is done but my legs still feel wobbly and I just want to see our baby boy.

   "Congratulations ladies!" Dr. Walsh says as she approaches us with our cleaned off baby in her arms causing me to release Laurens hand which she starts rapidly shaking around. "Here he is, a healthy baby boy weighing 6 pounds 10 ounces and 21 inches long." The doctor whispers as she lays Tristan Ellis James in my arms. I look at our baby boy and feel more tears forming in my eyes. I glance up at Lauren and she has the biggest teary eyed smile on her face as she looks from our son to me.

   "I'm... I'm sorry Lauren... for what I said earlier. I'm really happy I was able to do this for us. I didn't... I didn't mean...."

   My rambling is cut off as Lauren presses her lips to mine. "I know, baby. It's okay, I promise. I know you didn't mean it like that." She says as she pulls away with a huge smile on her face. Lauren brings her index finger up and gently caresses the small cheek of our son. "Hi, Tristan Ellis," she whispers as she chokes back more tears of joy. He yawns and it's so cute as his little tongue sticks out too. He opens his eyes looking at us and my heart melts just looking down at our son.

   "It's crazy but he looks a lot like you, Lauren." I say as I look at our son in my arms and back at my wife. Tristan has brown eyes and dirty blonde hair that's nearly the same shade as Lauren's. We definitely picked the perfect donor for our baby.

   "Does he?" Lauren asks as she looks a little shocked by my statement then looks back at our son. "He actually resembles both of us. It's crazy that he resembles Taytum also." My wife mumbles as she releases a breath while trying not to cry anymore.

   "He does look like both of us and Taytum. He is perfect Lauren, just like you. I love you."

   Lauren smiles "I love you more" she says as she leans down placing a gentle kiss to the side of Tristan's head.

   "I love you the most" I tiredly mumble as my heart overruns with love and happiness for our little family we have created.