PAINTED LOVE

THIRTEEN

loïse madden

.  .  .  .  .  .

I don't know what to do. This is by far the most difficult situation I've ever been in. Do I run after him? Do I just let him go? I mean, he wouldn't have run off if he actually wanted that kiss. 

I look at the piano he was just playing, the chair he pulled back so I could sit on his lap. It's so confusing. Why would he do all those things when he was planning on just leaving me confused after having put his tongue in my mouth? 

I stand up, walk out of the room and back down the stairs. I pass Dean, who's flirting with some girl. I don't care about ruining one of his very cool flirting tricks to get her to sleep with him. I interrupt whatever he was telling her with:

"Did you see Sebastian walking past?"

"Oh, hey baby doll. Nah, don't think I did. Why?"

"I'm looking for him, it's important so please text or call me if you see him."

"Did something happen?", he asks me, frowning and with a worried expression. 

"No... Yes", I say. 

"So yes or no?"

"I just need to find him."

I feel a hand on my arm, turn around and to my disappointement, I see June. 

"Hey girl! Here you are! Ready to dance some more?!"

She's already dragging me to the dancefloor and I pull back a little. 

"June, I really love you, I do, but I'm not in the mood for dancing right now. I need to find Seb right now, like right right right now. I'm stressing the freak out because I can't find him-"

"Loïse, sweetheart, calm down", she soothes, taking me into her arms. "I just saw him coming by, he's outside. He's fine, I mean- he looked like he was completely fine, so there's nothing to worry about!", she expresses. 

I nod my head slowly. 

Completely fine. 

So, him kissing me and just leaving me there with a lame "I'm sorry", leaves him completely fine? Great. 

"Let's dance!", June says again, dragging me with her once more. I don't protest this time. If Sebastian is really so okay with whatever he's doing , then fine. But I can be, too.

No, you can't. 

I can at least show him that I can. 

"I want another piña colada!", I shout in June's ear, over the music. She nods her head. 

I grab myself two, to drink away this disgusting feeling of being used as a distraction, and swallow it with me, together with the sweet taste of the alcohol. 

It kind of burns in my throat, but it makes me feel dang good. 

I start dancing with June, more friends and other people join us until we're all dancing together. It's amazing. I get offered so many more drinks by people, and I don't refuse a lot of them. Only the beers. 

By the end of the night, when the party's starting to settle down, I'm wasted. 

Everything I see, hear or say is so funny suddenly. My vision's a little bit blurry on the sides and I need people to shout in my ear. My hearing feels like I've been walking in the mountains. 

But above all those weird things happening to me, the feeling of joy and happiness overwhelms everything else. 

Sebastian left me after making out with him?! Great, at least we made out!