Memories Can Be Deceiving

Chapter 21

No one said a word. There weren't any words to say. Rantaro had invited her, but why? She'd killed him directly, he had every reason to hate her as much as anyone. Tension felt like a frayed rope pulled tight, close to breaking, any second now. It felt like the room was simply going to explode. 

Tsumugi shifted on her feet. "I wanted to start by saying I'm sorry. Truthfully, I didn't know what I was getting into any more than you. I was the most scripted of us all." She took a deep breath, and Rantaro put a concerned hand on her shoulder. She shrugged him off. "I know what I did to you all is unforgivable. I didn't feel anything while in Danganronpa. My only purpose was to make the show a success. Very few times did I have even the smallest amount of control over my actions. So, just so you know, I never wanted to hurt anyone."

Rantaro spoke up after her. "I don't think it's fair to blame her. We all did things we aren't proud of because of their influence. Why is she the exception to being forgiven? We were all victims, all sixteen of us. And this is something we've gotta stick together through."

Still, nobody spoke. What he said was true, wasn't it hypocritical to push all their hatred on to a girl who was hurt by Danganronpa, same as them? Sure, it was easier to hate their scapegoat than the company itself, but that wasn't fair. They were all victims, sharing trauma few could ever imagine, that they couldn't tell a soul outside this room. They shouldn't be enemies. It would only be playing right into Danganronpa's despair.

It was Kokichi who finally broke the silence. "I get what you're saying. And I can't really argue. I hurt people, too. I caused the deaths of two people, and I'm not really sure they should've forgiven me for that. But then again, wouldn't that just be letting Danganronpa win? Hating the people who were victims too just because of the role they were forced to play. I don't know how I feel about this, but I do know that it's not fair to give all that hatred to one person because they happened to be given a role that caused more pain."

Everyone was quiet after that. What could they say? It wasn't like there was any way to disagree. Was it selfish not to forgive her? But how could they?

"That being said," Tsumugi continued, "I don't want to be your friend, either. I'm not going to stay. Not only because it's hard to see the faces of so many people I killed," she took a deep breath, "but because you shouldn't have to see the face of the person who killed you. I don't deserve forgiveness, I'm not asking for it. In fact, I'm not asking for you to sympathize with me at all. There are other masterminds, and will continue to be more, and I don't want you to hate all of them. None of them are to blame. The mastermind tends to get a lot of hate, and it can be hard. That's all I really wanted to say. I'll be plainly going now." She said with a fake smile, calling reference to her character's quirk before turning to leave.

"You should stay." Kaede spoke up. "You'll never have the chance to tell someone about all that happened otherwise. We're the only people we can legally talk about this stuff too. You can go, if you really want to, though. But if you do decide to stay a bit longer, you don't have to look at us. Just say what's on your mind. You'll feel better."

As everyone waited in silence for Tsumugi's decision, the doorbell rang.

Rantaro cleared his throat. "It is pizza this time. Shirogane, you're free to eat with us." He said before answering the door. Everyone was still quiet when he yelled from the kitchen, asking how many pieces people wanted.

Everybody answered, Tsumugi included.

Once everyone was settled back down, she was still facing away from them. 

Rantaro wondered if it was a mistake to invite her here. They'd run into each other by chance at the store, and he felt like it had to be fate. Maybe he was kidding himself. He'd hoped everyone could get a bit of closure, or a little less hatred inside, by knowing that the person they thought of as a friend wasn't evil like they thought. He had mixed feelings too, sure, he saw her kill him. But he didn't see what she did to anyone else. Not in real time, at least. It was easier for him to forgive than anybody else. He imagined he probably wouldn't have been able to forgive the mastermind of the previous season had he been in the same boat.