Yours [Prim/Cato]

Chapter 49 - Tell Me

I don't know how much time I spent soaking in the tub. When I finally got out, my skin was covered in wrinkles. This is what I'll look like when I can't walk on my own any longer, when my hair is as white as snow, when I sit at home and watch my grandchildren run around and play. Cato will probably still look like the man he's always been: strong and lean, without a singe flaw.

I slowly wrapped a towel around myself before making my way into the bedroom. Cato and I needed to talk about this. He cannot just let go of us that easily. We have issues that need to be worked through. He can't give up on me, just like I've never given up on him.

When I walk into the bedroom, Cato isn't there. He can't possibly be asleep since he can't sleep very well without me. So he must have moved out of the room. I never said I was done with him. He just assumed we were and walked off.

After dressing myself, I check the time. I was sitting in that water, daydreaming and thinking to myself for about two hours. The sun had already set outside and we were still moving toward the next district.

I need to find Cato so that we can talk. I'm not letting him get away that easily. He's going to have to try harder to run from me.

I silently open my door and peek out, checking to see if anyone was in the hallway. I waved at the two Peacekeepers doing their rounds of the train and step out of the room. Cato must be in one of the spare train cars, so I make my way to the next one.

The first one is empty, and so is the next one. The one after is Effie's, and the last extra cart is empty too.

Where the hell is he?

I make my way toward the dining cart, grabbing a cookie on my way into the kitchen cart. The only place left to find him would either be the prep carts and the front where the conductor drives the train.

I was just about to leave the dining cart when I heard incoherent mumbling from behind me. I took a few steps back and looked down. Cato was laid out on the floor between two chairs, the perfect hiding space. He was sprawled out like a starfish and held a bottle of brown liquid in his left hand.

I got down on my knees next to him, leaning forward in front of his face. Cato's eyes were closed; he had probably fallen asleep after drinking his booze.

Cato's face was furrowed into a frown and he was muttering. Suddenly, the booze fell from his hands and his arms began flailing. He must be having another nightmare. Why wasn't this one as intense as the others usually were? He should be screaming, tossing and turning. I reached to pick up his alcohol before it leaked onto the carpet and stood it up away from him.

My hands wrap onto his shoulders and I gently shake him awake. Once his eyes settle on me, he jumps up and pushes me away.

"Get the fuck away from me," he says, scooting back so that his back hits the chair behind him. He reaches for his alcohol, wrapping his fingers around the top like five pieces of rope.

I roll my eyes. "Come on, Cato. We really need to talk about this."

"Talk about what?" he growls. "The fact that you don't love me anymore, or how you broke my heart?"

My heart instantly shattered. I didn't want to believe that I had finally broken the Cato Hadley. I didn't want to believe that I was the one person that had all control over every single breath this man takes. But I have to get used to it. Cato wouldn't take another step if I wasn't taking that same step with him, but now he thinks that it's all over. He doesn't care about what happens to me, himself, or anyone else now that our puzzle has supposedly been taken apart.

I can't bear the thought. It hurts more than anything, more than knowing my sister is gone. I feel things so much stronger for this man, this God. It's hard to admit that, but it's true. I thought I couldn't live without her, but now I'm realizing the only reason I'm still living is because of this man lying underneath me with no hope.