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Yesterday, I woke up at 5 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my phone while taking a nasty shit. Korea is home to a powerful religious cult called Jesus Morning Star. It's leader is a filthy old pervert named Jeong Myeong-seok. He's a rapist and a molester who tells his followers that he's the second coming of Christ. Anyway, a court in Daejeon just handed him a 23-year sentence for his crimes against multiple women. He's currently 78 years old and will probably die in prison.
I ate three jelly donuts for breakfast and caught the bus to work. Even though it was Saturday, I had many i's to dot and lots of t's to cross. I hate toiling like a coolie on the weekend, but sometimes it has to be done.
My friend and colleague Richard Hurtz was at the office, too.
He said, "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"I've got to catch up on a mountain of paperwork."
He nodded and smiled. "One day, I'm going to move to Vermont and live on a farm. Just like the great poet Robert Frost."
"I don't think Mr. Frost ever lived in Vermont. He owned a farm in New Hampshire."
Richard took a sip of coffee from his giant mug. "Vermont, New Hampshire. It's the same fucking thing."
"True. It's freezing in Vermont, and it's also freezing in New Hampshire. So I'm not sure if your thin Australian blood could handle that type of weather."
"The cold has never bothered me. I'm impervious to low temperatures."
"Well, I grew up in New England until the age of sixteen. I froze my ass off."
"For me, it would be heaven. I heard that the crime rates are low compared to the rest of the United States."
I shrugged my shoulders. "Sin exists no matter where you are. For instance, we had this strange family that lived down the street. The two brothers were having sex with their sisters. The entire family had an extremely low IQ."
"Wow. Sounds like a freak show."
"Trust me. You can't begin to imagine."
Lately, I've been trying to live like a Zen master, enjoying my existence from moment to moment rather than dwelling on the past and the future. I'm currently in Korea, so I try not to fantasize about being a wealthy happy American. Why? Wishful thinking leads to extreme frustration and hellish anxiety. If mediocrity is my fate, then I'm willing to embrace it. There's no escaping destiny.
I eventually got home at 4 p.m. and did two loads of laundry. Then I sat on the sofa and watched an episode of American Horror Story on my computer. The new season features Kim Kardashian. I don't know much about the woman, but her acting skills are quite good. She gives a credible performance as an overly ambitious Hollywood publicist.
After that, I walked to my room and viewed classic porn while relaxing in my bed. One film featured Aunt Peg and Honey Wilder as a couple of perverts obsessed with sex. Ron Jeremy and Linda Shaw also appear in the flick during an exciting orgy scene. Smut from the 80's reminds me of my youth. I really had a good time.
I closed my eyes at midnight and slept like the dead.
