Playboy

| 4 |

"I don't think you should go Emma..." My mother said the second I told her about Lando's offer. I was honestly quite surprised by her immediate reaction.

I would've thought she'd want me to experience something new, see the world.

"Why? Why is it such a bad idea?" I asked her, but I could already predict her answer.

She was going to bring up my illness.

"Emma you know why it isn't a good idea." She answered, letting a tone of strictness coat her voice.

"No, I truly don't." I responded, feeling my anger begin to rise. "Okay I'm sick? And so what? I can take care of myself." I said.

My mother stayed silent, looking away from me. She really didn't think I could take care of myself.

"Mom! I live alone, sometimes on the other side of the world from you, what difference is there in me being in another country?" I continued, raising my voice at my mother, who finally allowed herself to look in my eyes.

"In London, there's always someone to take care of you... Your friends, teachers, uncle John... But in some sunny country far away? You're utterly alone." My mother said, confusing me even more.

Didn't she get that Lando was going too?

He might not be an expert on how to help a sick 20 year old, but he would help if It was needed.

"Lando is going to be there?" I reminded my mother, watching as a sigh left her mouth when I said it. She swallowed hardly, before she continued.

"I know that Lando seems like a wonderful guy right now..." My mother started. "But you've only known him a day Emma"

The look in her eye scared me. She was dead serious about this. I furrowed my brows at her, gesturing for her to elaborate.

My mother took a deep breath. "Lando doesn't always treat girls in a good way.." My mother said.

Oh. That was not what I was expecting.

"In what way..?" I allowed myself to ask, my voice now almost a whisper. Please don't tell me he's done something horrible.. please.

"Emma, he's the walking definition of a playboy"

I was about to let out a surprised cackle. Lando? A playboy?

But then I thought about it for a moment..

Oh god, he really was the definition of a playboy. The backwards cap, the cocky smirk, his flirting from the second we met...

Was I just one of his many girls?

My thoughts suddenly started working on overtime, hundreds of new worries getting created inside my head.

If he was just a playboy, then I was nothing to him.

"I'm just scared that he would... find a girl that suddenly interested him more, and then just abandon you in a foreign country" My mother said, carefully choosing her words in an attempt to not hurt my feelings.

I nodded slowly. She was right. A playboy would do that...

But Lando wouldn't do that.

I couldn't just forget about the Lando I'd already gotten to know. He was so sweet and caring, I couldn't imagine him...

"Maybe I should tell you about something that happened a couple of months ago.." My mother suddenly spoke, when she saw me getting engrossed in my thoughts once again.

"I think it was at the Miami Grand Prix" She started. "And Lando had done the very awkward thing of flying out two, very beautiful models"

"I briefly spoke with them individually, and Lando had basically promised them all of these things.. you know, that he'd show them around, dates, fancy hotels..and he'd of course flirted with them, led them on"

"But, when we then got to Sunday, and these girls were already sad because he'd told them individually, that they were the only girl he was seeing, another girl entered the picture"

I could feel my stomach twist.

"She was very beautiful of course, I wasn't a big fan of her though.. She seemed very.. fake." My mother continued.

"Anyway, Lando apparently really liked her. So much that he completely forgot about the 2 other girls"

"He gave the new girl all the things he'd promised the others, and then just left them completely alone in chaotic Miami"

I bit down on my lip. I couldn't choose what to think. It wasn't right, I know that, but...

"I got very mad at him when they'd all gone home.." My mother said with a chuckle. "I'd love to think I humbled him a bit, but to think he's changed... I doubt it" She finally said, softly stroking a finger over my arm.

I just sat there in silence for a moment.

I didn't want to be one of those girls. It was honestly my worst nightmare to just be one of those girls and yet...

I couldn't stop thinking that I wasn't one of those girls.

Maybe I was naive. But I felt like the Lando I knew was different. He treated me properly. I thought he cared about me...

"But the Lando I know is different" I told my mom, watching her face drop.

"But honey... That's what people always think, that the person is different, has changed... but it's rarely true" My mother responded.

I hated the tone she was using, like she was comforting me.

I took in a deep breath, feeling my body growing more and more exhausted. I considered everything for a moment.

The things my mother had told me, the day I'd had with Lando, my illness... The answer had stood clear to me from the beginning,

and it still stood there.

"I'm gonna go mom." I told her.

Fear flashed in her eyes immediately. She was going to do everything in her power to stop this, but I wasn't going to let her.

I needed this desperately. I needed to get away, to finally relax. And Lando had given me the opportunity to do so.

"And I know you're not a fan of this. But I really think I need this" I explained. My mother just stayed silent, her eyes telling the whole story.

But then she nodded. It was slight and slow, but she nodded.

She was going to let me go through with this.

I carefully got up from my chair, and gave my mother a quick hug... Before I headed off to find Lando.

I just have to prepare myself for the playboy, so I won't get hurt when he comes out.