The Light within Darkness

Chapter -4

Present

I have regrets, so many regrets that's why I avoid thinking about the past. Otherwise I don't think I'll be able to live with myself. But these memories are like shadows always lurking around in the back of my mind ready to strike and they do when I am all alone, one memory after the other. It makes me breathless, sometimes I feel like my throat is closing from the guilt. I have so much blood on my hands that sometimes I think I deserve this, all of the things that have ever happened to me. I feel like I don't deserve to be happy. And that is exactly why I left Luminara, left Lorek behind because even for a short while, he made me happy.

Seefa and I made our way to my cottage. I asked her to stay with me. The tavern is not at all safe for a single woman. She was grateful to a point that she started crying in the middle of tavern while mumbling thank you repeatedly. It was so cute.

The cottage is not big by any means but it still has two small bedrooms, one of them is obviously occupied by me. It took a lot of fixing to make this place habitable. There where wild plants everywhere, in the bedrooms, kitchen. I had to fix the roof, the floor, doors, stove, practically everything. 

But I am still grateful, at least I have a roof over my head. Lorek helped me get this cottage. It belonged to someone in his family. Lorek. He had done so much for me. I'll never forget him. He was the first person to ever show me any kindness.

"I've been meaning to ask you- how did find your own place here. I've tried so hard to find a decent place around here but after a while I just gave up and continued living at the tavern " she huffs kicking a pebble on the ground. 

"It belonged to a friend" I tell her. She wiggles her eyebrows at me making me laugh at her antics.

"I don't think I can survive in this hole much longer. As soon as I earn some money, I'll be out of here. May be I'll go to west this time like everyone else since travelling to north isn't safe anymore" she said thoughtfully. But I don't think west will be safe much any longer. Whatever is going on it will take over every part of the world. I shivered as if I can almost feel it in my bones.

"May be this is the safest place right now. I've been to Aetherwind twice and I can tell people there were very fond of us. Their language, culture, the way they live is so different from ours more primitive. I don't think they'll be much welcoming to our problems".

Aetherwind is the biggest city in west. The werewolves there follow the old traditions. There are many packs hidden deep within the forests. So many that even the royal family isn't aware about their existence. Most of them have blatantly refused to accept the crown, the new ways and human interference. Their packs are small but all of them are seasoned warriors even females. They've always been skeptical of northern and eastern packs.

"Looks like I am going to die here then" Seefa whines dramatically.

The cottage is slightly far from tavern on the outskirts near the woods. Humans avoid coming here after sunset but I find this place very comforting. I wish I still had my wolf. She would have been really happy to have the whole woods to herself. Wolves really enjoy running around in woods that's why most packs are founds near forests. Bjorn and Celestina had their own territory too. Ashamed, I look down at my shoes feeling heat rise up from my cheeks. I can't believe they still make me feel exactly the same. Its like they never left. Sometimes I can still feel Celestina whispering venomous words into my ears. Somehow they both always crawl their way back to my mind making my mood turn extremely sour.

"It's really spooky in here" Seefa whispers looking around carefully as if someone would suddenly come and jump on her. "At first but you'll love it eventually. It's so nice and refreshing to have your morning coffee while looking at sunrise and the forest has its own appeal. But it does get chilly at night" she definitely doesn't look impressed. I laugh at her frightened expressions. She bumps her hip into mine making me stumble. "Hey" I say startled. I chase after her as she runs towards the door giggling.