The Light within Darkness

Chapter -6

Present

Quiet. Cold. Dark. Where the night is day and the day is night. Winters were always the harshest in Blackmoon. The feeling of dry cold slowly seeping deep into your bodies making you unable to breathe. The winters are unyielding taking everything with them leaving only the strongest to survive while the weak one wither away slowly. They're biased that's why I've always hated them.

Winter nights are lonely. Silent. Absolute darkness. I used to hate it but now I welcome it now. How many nights have I stood alone in the darkest hour of the night with barely a tinge of cloth covering my body looking at the Moon when everyone is dead asleep. It's light is sacred and precious to us. Years and years of praying and yearning has made me feel closer to the moon. It's divine energy used to fill me with hope for a future that was never mine.

I had always planned every single detail about my life or had it planned for me since I was a child. I was told that it was necessary that my time is important because I matter so much to the pack. It took me years to let that habit go which was ingrained deep within my bones and just live in the moment yet the old habits die hard. And that is why this unpredictability scares me so much. The cloud of an unsure future hangs above me.

Why can't I be left alone. I stayed away just like everyone wanted. I paid for my sins. But it still isn't enough. It's never enough.

I teared my gaze from the moon and looked at Estrella lying in my bed. I narrowed my eyes at her. She's looking so peaceful while ruining mine. My eyes move towards the dagger sitting on the beside table. She has threatened my future to save her family. I should just put it in her heart and be done with it.

But this intrusive thought was short lived when Seefa softly knocked on my door. I looked at Estrella one last time before I taking the dagger and closing the door behind me.

"I made us some tea" Seefa spoke so softly that I barely heard it. Her demeanor completely opposite from few hours ago. After I checked Estrella's pulse and dressed her wounds we put her to bed before retiring to our own. But there was no sleep for me and I don't think Seefa slept either. This wasn't supposed to happen. Estrella wasn't supposed to find me.

I gave her a small smile. I have to talk to her make things clear. I know she has questions. I wasn't honest with her from the beginning. I didn't think I needed to be but now I don't have a choice.

"Seefa I..I think you should leave" I looked down. I am ashamed but this is better this way she doesn't have to be involved in my mess. I carefully looked up to see her reaction but she didn't give me any instead she just continued to pour tea into the cups.

"You know I am not that stupid as I look. I know we haven't known each other for long but it still hurts me that you don't seem to trust me at all" her voice carries a tinge of sadness but betrayal is what she feels.

"Seefa...." I look way from her eyes. I don't know where to start, what to explain. This isn't her problem. She can't become a part of it. I should have known it's too good to be true. Whenever I find someone to rely upon it's always taken away from me, snatched right out of my hands.

"I have a past of my own that's why I know your situation but don't push me away. We can rely on each other" she pleaded desperately. We are both so alone in this world desperately trying to cling to each other. But how can I explain this to her that I can never rely on her or let her rely on me. I can't do this to her. She doesn't deserve this. This isn't her burden to bear. In a way I can understand her pain she needs a companion but I can't give her that.

"You have no idea what kind of people are after me. If Estrella is here then they won't be far behind. I may not be able to outrun them this time but you can. That is why you have to leave. These people Seefa...." I pause and pull in a breath, how do I explain this to her "they're not human. I am not human" I whisper. My eyes meet hers waiting for any reaction. She took a step back her eyes wide as saucers. Sometimes I am glad I'm not a werewolf anymore otherwise I don't think I'll be able to take the stench of fear probably emanating from her.