The Classroom of Youth

Prologue part 3: Give Up

Trigger warning: Suicide/suicidal thoughts

~Yuna~

After another tiring day, I took a deep sigh and dropped my backpack on the ground of my tiny room. Lazily, I unzipped the bag and took out my school assignments. Shoving my cram school homework and notebooks to the left end of my desk and literally slamming the assignments onto the table, I gloomily took out my pencil case, sat down and began working.

After solving three or four long math problems, my mechanical pencil stopped.

This is meaningless.

Sighing again, I put on my headphones and played my favorite kpop playlist.

I stared at the spots and lines on the ceiling.

The thought of wanting to be a kpop idol, the thought of having to get a good grade again, the thought of my mother's cold eyes, the thought of studying to get into a good university, the thought of disappointing my father, the thought of me having to get a good job, the thought of my insecurities, the thought of me not having time for practicing, and the thought of me having to give up and lead a normal life haunted me for the 5th time this week. I felt the familiar sense of fear and loneliness again.

I leaned back into my seat, and glanced at the stationary stand. My eyes caught the paper cutter that I kept on the desk for no reason.

A thought flashed inside of me.

I timidly reached out for it, and stopped.

K-pop, Idols, Dreams, Success, Happiness...

But...

Parents, Homework, School, Depression, Failure...

Failure.

After a moment of hesitation, I moved my hand again and grasped the cutter.

Clutching the handle tighter as my hand got sweatier and shakier, I stared at the sharp, silver blade. A small reflection of my eye showed.

A lifeless eye clouded with distress and filled with endless pain.

I was shocked to see how different it looked from the joyful, glistening eyes my K-pop idols had.

I laughed ironically.

I guess I can never become a K-pop idol like this...

I slowly brought the edge near the thick blood vein in my left wrist. Bleeding to death sounds painful, but stabbing myself in the heart or slitting my throat with this thin cutter seemed impossible. I closed my eyes, and shakily lowered my right hand.

It was finally going to happen. I was going to be released from all the weight on my shoulders.

No more stress, no more depression, no more bearing.

I'll finally...be free...!

I took one deep breath.

On the count of three...

Three......

Two...

One...........................

I waited for the sensation to hit me, but it never did.

Confused and scared, I slowly opened my eyes, my heart still pounding in my chest.

Instead of dark red blood splattering on my arms and blade and desk, I was surrounded by countless blinding rays of rainbow light. It was shooting everywhere like a firework from god knows where and soon filled up my whole vision. Everything seemed to be shaking around me. It reminded me of a massive earthquake, without anything collapsing.

I-...

I must be dreaming... Or I'm too tired that I'm hallucinating, or something else other than me actually being inside of exploding lights! I tried pinching and slapping my face, but nothing changed. More and more explosions and shaking.

...I noticed a strange texture in my hands. A purple microphone was in my right hand that was supposed to be holding the cutter. My eyes widened, regaining the spark I had never had in a long time.

My anxious heartbeat gradually changed into an excited one.

A/N to readers: Yuna almost gave up on her life, but don't give up on reading The Classroom of Youth!🤠 Please comment and vote too! Thank you so much for taking interest in this book! I hope you all enjoy it☺️🙇‍♀️🥰