Constult: to act stupidly or foolish together.
"You know they say the line between love and hate is thin I think I realized that a while ago when I fell for you" she confessed.
"What a horrible way to admit your feelings, I guess I love you too" he...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
𓆩♡𓆪━━━━━━━━━━━━━━𓆩♡𓆪
"We drink the poison Our minds pour and wonder Why we feel so sick"
═══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ═══ Y/p Song: R.I.P to my youth - The Neighborhood (Songs are optional) (Narrative chapter) ═══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ═══
"Because you're like me..."
It took all of me not to break eye contact as he said those words, paralyzing my mind and putting the singles in my brain on a desperate hold.
And just as quickly as I gained consciousness, he gave me a quick scoff and left, or, well, more like, limped away, leaving me standing in the slow rain.
"Vinny!"
"Come back!" I shouted, my voice cracking slightly as my fingers trembled in slow jolts, but he didn't. He didn't come back to me.
He wasn't mine to keep anymore...
And once all that was left was his shadow, I couldn't hold back all the pain that was brewing. My body retched over small gags escaping my lips as I contained the urge to vomit all over the concrete.
I felt sick—more sick than I ever did.
Regret pooled in my stomach as it swirled and spun around, spiking my throat and blowing my head with a whirlwind of nausea. My throat felt dry, yet I could still feel warm spit collecting and swishing around in my mouth with the littlest taste of iron.
I never knew that hate could run so deep.
That hatred runs thin like paper.
It's like a parasite that leaches on your skin and bites it away bit by bit, leaving a poisonous taste in your mouth that could never leave.
I took hate too lightly... I was quick to say I hate you without understanding that hate was a strong word, like an infectious disease consuming me whole.
To hate someone is not to just dislike them; it's to loathe them; it's to be disgusted by them.
I used the word lightly. I hated him with my eyes, I hated myself with my soul, and that poison devoured me.
And yet, why does the forbidden wine taste so good if not for the poison that dips into your tongue?
We crave hate, yet we also crave love. We can't have both, but since hate is so easy to give, we take it instead.
And then we take some more.
We take until the pain is gone; we take until we're so full of hate that we can't give love to ourselves.
We become selfish, and the hate we take becomes the same hate that we give.
I didn't know at the time, but now I do.
I know now that I should have never taken a sip of the wine and that I shouldn't have become addicted to the poison because now I gave him a drop and we both suffered.
Just as I buckled over to vomit, a hand clasped over my shoulder, holding me tightly as I looked back over my shoulder to see Jay and Minu with worried faces.
"You ran off abruptly. Why?" Jay's voice called out as I swallowed the warm vomit in my mouth, almost gagging at the disgusting taste.
"Nothing just... I had to... I went to talk to a friend, but I missed him." I lied, and Jay gave me a questioning look before leading me back home, my arms looping over his waist as I mounted the bike to upset him to say anything or disobey safety rules as always.
Jay knew I was upset; he could tell.
But he didn't have to know; he didn't have to know what I do.
"Take your pills when you get home; you look green, and you know the doctor told you not to run." Jay huffed in annoyance, reprimanding me for all my stupid actions.
"Jay..."
"Look, I'm really not in the mood for this right now... I've had a shitty night, alright?" I sighed, rubbing a hand over my temple, and Jay's eyes widened slightly before turning into a concerned frown.
"Y/n your not-" he started until I let out a dramatic groan, my face instantly turning into annoyance.
"Stop! Why does everyone think that when I'm upset, I can't have feelings? I'm not a damn fragile doll." I spat, pulling my arms away from Jay's waist and hoping off the bike while Minu was still watching in the background.
"I'm walking home, and you better not follow me cause I'm taking the long way back," I shouted, pulling my hoodie over my head to walk through the sloshed streets, vividly upset and angry.
Both at myself and at everyone else.
I knew it wasn't Jay's fault he worried, but I just didn't need his help—not now, not ever.
I'm troubled, and I don't want to involve my brothers in that, to push my pain onto theirs. Maybe that makes me selfish, but who cares?
Who cares if I'm the most selfish woman in the world? At least I'm independent!
