XIII

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Utterly surrounded by people, I felt numb to the noise and chatter.

Ava's baby shower hadn't even started yet and I was already ready to go home. I knew Ava would kill me if I left before she even arrived, however, so I had found a spot in the far corner of the garden where I could retreat and sulk. Sulking had been pretty much all I had been able to do as of late.

Yawning, I rubbed my eyes with the backs of my fist. Sleep had been a thing of the past recently. If I wasn't throwing myself into training for my new role then I was revising for exams. Lately, anything that could possibly take my mind off of my situation was my vice.

At school, Nico seemed to be everywhere. Around every corner, behind every door; he was inescapable. No matter what route I took, I seemed to be unable to escape that lavender smell. It was driving me insane. Not to mention, obnoxiously orange-coloured peanut butter chocolate seemed to be everywhere lately. Nico's godforsaken favourite snack.

N.J and Mila were no help. They were just as on-edge as I was and seemed to be walking on egg shells around me. The topic of 'mate' hadn't come up since Xavier had whisked me away to his office but I knew they were dying to ask about it. It exhausted me to even consider what I was going to do but I had a semblance of a plan.

The room had become an echo of cheers as Ava walked through the balloon arch and into the garden. Her face was a picture of surprise and glee as people greeted her, but her eyes weren't focused on them. I watched her as they flittered across faces until they settled on him. They didn't have a mate bond, but she still looked for him in every crowd. Her smile stretched even further and the warmth that exuded from her was clear to see as she stepped into Oscar's outstretched arms.

I had to admit, I had always longed for something like Ava and Oscar had. Despite not being mates, it was clear they were made for each other and they knew that too. They had chosen each other and defied the Moon Goddess in doing so. It seemed romantic. Longing for this myself, I used to imagine deciding my own mate when I was settled into my role in the pack. Things were certainly not looking that way.

"I hear you've got a surprise for me, kid." Ava's gentle voice appeared, her belly absolutely massive by this point.

"You about to pop?" I eyed it warily.

"I hope so." Ava laughed.

She walked with her hand resting on her own back, complaining about being on her feet for so long. I helped her up the stairs towards the nursery and held my breath as I opened the door. It was strange, Ava had always been a parental figure to me and I wanted so desperately to give something back to her now that she was having her own child.

As the door creaked open, that same warmth returned to Ava and she gasped in delight, rushing forward as fast as her heavily pregnant body would allow her. Her eyes drank in the mural, watering with the plethora of emotions that overcame her. I shuffled awkwardly at the door, clearing my own throat of the emotions I felt. I hadn't expected to react in such a way.

"Xan, this is absolutely incredible." Ava breathed, tracing one of painted trees with the tips of her fingers.

"Noah helped." Was about all I could get out.

She turned to face me with tears running down her face. She stretched her arms open for a hug and I obliged, leaning down to her to wrap her in one. Her hand patted my back gently, as if trying to reassure me. I hadn't seen her since everything with Nico had happened, but I knew that she most certainly knew. Cameron was nothing if not a gossip.

"Honey, we have got a lot to talk about." Ava patted the ottoman for me to sit on while collapsing into the rocking chair.

"Oh, I don't want to take time out of your party." I began to deny her offer, but of course Ava wouldn't allow it.

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