XVI

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Dear diary,

Xavier and Cameron have adopted a little girl. Her name is Mila and she's just a little older than Noah Junior. 

At first, I was worried my Noah Junior would run for the hills. He's, unfortunately, not spent much time with other children since he was born. I haven't felt much like going to the pack house and being surrounded by children and their parents. 

I am overjoyed by Xavier and Cameron's decision, however, and I am so pleased. 

I did think that they would want their own space now that they had a little one but Cameron had said 'three parents are better then two because you get triple the love' and it warmed my heart. He was right. Plus, he wouldn't be able to cope with a toddler without my help. I think he added the second part on to make me feel better but it was still nice of him.

It seems that Noah Junior and Mila are getting along like a house on fire so far. Xavier and Cameron have taken to bringing them along to meetings and have even set up a playpen in the corner of Xavier's office for them to stay out of trouble. Phil has promised to start bringing along his son, Alexandros, more regularly to make it into a proper little play date for the kids each time.

It's so sweet to see them beginning to interact and share their toys. Mila is less willing to share, but Noah Junior is silly like his father and doesn't seem to understand that. Alexandros always seems to be giving Mila back her toys from Noah Junior and offering Noah Junior his own. 

As sweet as it is, it reminds me of his father. 

Noah Senior and I had always been best friends, alongside Jude and Xavier. In our small group, we were always getting into trouble and having fun in the woods while our parents worked. Xavier and Jude's fathers would quite often come strolling through the woods and find us half way up a tree, hanging upside down or, once, having fallen out of it.

Thinking about Jude makes my veins run cold and hate surge through me.

No matter how many years pass, I can never forgive what he did. It'll haunt me until the day that I die that Jude was able to tear our little group apart like that with no remorse. Tear my family apart. 

Looking at my little trio play with their toys in the office, I hope that nothing like that will ever happen to them. 

I've caught Xavier with that same wistful expression, concern etching across his eyebrows as he watches over them. I know that he lives with a lot of guilt for what happened, not that he needs to, but I know that he would never let that happen to them. Even now while they're young, he's pushing Mila to be strong and independent. Perhaps stronger than he feels he was able to be.

I'm happy my Noah Junior gets to experience the same childhood joy I got from my friends but I hope he never has to go through the heartache that Xavier and I did. Losing a friend is never easy.

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