Thirty-Two: "𝙎𝙤𝙛𝙩."

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"Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle."

- Napoleon Hill

- Napoleon Hill

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"Dumbass." I murmur, brushing away some of her hair and checking her forehead using my palm.

I shake my head when my eyes start to shut close. I can't sleep when she needs me. I sleepily take a look at the clock, sighing at the time. Four in the morning. Damn.

She's been coughing the entire fucking night. She turned pale for an hour and it scared the absolute fuck out of me. I had to watch first aid videos on damn YouTube to make sure I knew what I was doing in case anything happened. The doctor said that wasn't necessary but who the fuck is he.

He also said it's just a cold and that it'd be gone in about three days. Still, dumbass.

Let's not act like this isn't your fault, Ricky. She did all this just to talk to my mom. I love her so fucking much. Seeing her drenched and talking animatedly to the one person I've always wanted her to meet was like a dream.

I was mad, yes, at the fact that she put herself in a vulnerable position like that. She went through all this trouble just for me. Mayella hates being alone in any place that might be riddled with ghosts, she cried when Raf put on a 'scream' costume. But she went there, for me. I love her.

I love this dumbass who's drooling on my chest. Even if this is the first time I've had to take care of someone like this, I want to do it over and over again. I feel an incessant need to take care of her, protect her and just hold her whenever I fucking can.

I would call it a man's instinct but it's just natural when you're whipped to this extent. You don't want shit to happen to your person. Which is why she's wrapped up in my shirt, hoodie and sweats.

So soft.

I want five kids with her.

My hands subconsciously inch towards her face that's resting on my body as very quiet snores erupt from her slightly open mouth. She speaks in her sleep too.

I pull one of her cheeks. Hm, I never knew they were this stretchy. So soft. She's like a little ermine, her latest animal obsession. So damn soft. Maybe the lack of sleeps getting to me.

Mayella murmurs, scrunching up her nose when I pull her face again. So stretchy. Weird.

"Mhm.." She mumbles incoherently, my thumb lifts to wipe away some drool.

"Waddle...waddle..penguie..." She mushes her face further into my chest, repeating the words so fucking adorably. She's so fucking mine.

My eyes close on their own account after I set an alarm for six, the time when Dan will arrive. I check her temperature three more times and sigh in relief when I see it lower than before.

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