𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝙒𝙊𝙍𝙏𝙃 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙎𝙃𝙊𝙏| 𝙋𝘼𝙄𝙂𝙀 𝘽𝙐𝙀𝘾𝙆𝙀𝙍𝙎

𝙁𝙊𝙐𝙍

KAIA JACOBS

My room sat in a half cleaned state. Bed messily thrown together, some clothes from my hamper still remained on the floor as shirts and pants started to overflow out from the drawers inside my wardrobe. I sat at the bottom of my closet digging through the shoe boxes and countless dirtied shirts that are long overdue for a wash.

My hand reaching further out grasping what's left to fill the left over space inside the basket. Instead my hand hits hard against of what presumes to be a box. The moment I pulled it out I wished I never found it again. Noting to hide it in the depths of the forest to decrease the likelihood of something like this to happen again.

The wooden box held memories of those I kept away to forgot. Every little thing and memory Paige and I had left of each other was placed into this box the wasted 2 years that I will never get back. Out loud I'd say I regret ever meeting her. But I know that isn't true. I'd do it all over again and again if I could.

My hands hesitated at the clasp before flipling it open. And there it overflowed with photos receipts, notes and letters of what was our friendship.

We used to go to this photo booth right at the corner of this Korean bbq place we loved to eat at. It was small and run down but yet we still managed to take the best photos together there. With our stomachs fed and our faces glossy at the heat-box of a restaurant.

We looked so happy. I yearned to feel that again, again with her.

I kept the wristband to all the clubs we snuck into and the concerts we'd go to together. The tickets to the fairs we loved to visit. The small figurines we collected from the arcade because we never won enough tickets to buy anything bigger. I even kept the receipts to every restaurant and movie we went to. Because at the time it meant everything, that these would one day be a time capsule of our friendship. Now it's the ashes of something that is way past dead.

I always loved Paige, so much that it I had to question whether if I truely only ever wanted to be her friend. Spoiler I didn't.

The thought of us being best friends. Paige being somebody who knew everything about me. To my favourite colour to what would be the last song I would play if I was held to a gunpoint. Now we are strangers who walk past each other with each other's deepest secrets.

I don't know if I hate her because of how she treated me in the end or if I hate her because she will never like me the way I liked her.

___________________________

It was around 10 pm, all stores were starting to close and restaurants were at the brink of closing all except for the fast food places that cluttered themselves all around Uconn.

I loved the quietness of a car ride during the night time. The speakers cranked up as the speakers send strong vibrations throughout the interior it feels like you're shaking. I loved the window hitting my warm cheeks with the sharpness of the cold wind that twined itself within my hair, messily ravelling itself within the strands.

I'm pulling into the carpark of a Chick-fil-a which was no surprise. Every few weeks or so I'd always find myself with Renea sitting in the boot of my car inhaling our meals like we've been on a hunger strike.

I'm waiting for my food, patiently standing at the side gazing over the fast food diner in hopes of finding an empty table which you'd expect to be easier at this time of night. Though as i'm scanning the room my eyes stop on none other than Paige Bueckers.