Chapter 16 ~ Who You Are

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Ryley arrived for her first day of rehearsals with Blaine for West Side Story. He headed off to meet the cast mates since he's such a social butterfly while Ryley stood awkwardly.

Three girls walked towards Ryley with their hands on their hips. Ryley was pretty sure they were acting like they were walking in slow-motion and a fan was running through their hair. They stopped in front of Ryley.

"So you're Maria? I didn't know they were casting fat girls to play beautiful and skinny characters like Maria." The middle girl says. She's tall, tan, black haired and her face looks like millions of dollars were wasted on plastic surgery.

Ryley's hands immediately wrap around her stomach as the girls begin to laugh.

"She's trying to hide up her fat her arms too small to hide all of that." The girl on the left with blonde hair and a clearly obvious boob job says, gesturing at Ryley's body.

Ryley puts her bag in front of her to cover herself up more as the girls continue to make fun of her. The girls then walk off once they're done with all their fat and ugly jokes about Ryley.

"Hey Rye. You okay?" A voice asks, placing a hand gently on Ryley's shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm, uh, fine, Blaine. Ryley says with a fake smile. Blaine pats her shoulder with a smile then walks off to talk with more people.

Ryley stays on her spot, looking down at her body. She can swear she sees a layer of fat through her clothes.

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Ryley studies her reflection in the mirror that night. She's in her underwear, looking at her flaws; the small layer of fat on her stomach, her smallish boobs, her light layer of freckles on her cheek and the way she looks overall. She sings to herself.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror:

"Why am I doing this to myself?"

Losing my mind on a tiny error,

I nearly left the real me on the shelf.

No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,

It's okay not to be okay.

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.

Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,

Just be true to who you are!

(who you are [x11])

She picks up her brush of the side of the sink.

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?

I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah!

The more I try the less it's working, yeah

'Cause everything inside me screams

No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,

It's okay not to be okay.

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.

But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,

There's nothing wrong with who you are!

She puts down her brush.

Yes, no's, egos, fake shows, like whoa!

Just go and leave me alone!

Real talk, real life, good love, goodnight,

With a smile that's my own!

That's my own, no...

No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,

It's okay not to be okay...

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.

Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,

Just be true to who you are!

Yeah yeah yeah 

She then smiles sadly at herself. That songs a feel good song but it's not making her feel good at the moment.

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The next day, Ryley heads to rehearsals and the three girls are there again and are in the same positions as they walk as yesterday

"You're Ryley Bridges, the singing wannabe with a small limited amount of talent. I am Penny," The middle girl says then gestures to the girl on her left with the boob job, "This Jasmine," Then she gestures to the darker girl on the right, "And this is Ella."

"I want to know; how do you girls stay so skinny?" Ryley asks.

Penny holds up two fingers, "You shove these two fingers down your throat and vomit up your food."

Ryley feels sick just thinking about, wanting to vomit right now.

"Just think about." Penny says and the girls walk off.

Ryley bites her lip and stands there in deep thought. Marley told her about this and how badly it affected her. Marley had developed bulimia nervosa from it because of Kitty.

"Ryley, we need to practice our lines." A voice says from behind Ryley, bringing her back to reality.

"Yeah, we should, Blaine." Ryley says, turning around to go with Blaine.

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So that's the start of the whole thing with Ryley.

Songs Used:

Who You Are - Jessie J (Did anyone see that girl Jillian Jensen sing this on X Factor US for her audition last year? I love her voice and she was so amazing for opening up about her problems to Demi Lovato during the auditions)

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