You think you know?

its all about trust

" thomas... youll know why ".... its u who should have known why rachel... its u not me... if ud known u wouldnt have been lying there with ur throat cut and blood everywhere... even on me... i just couldnt feel it from what i was in... my thoughts froze.... rachel is dead... why... and why me... and why dr. sara's office... and what the fuck am i supposed to do now.... all these questions were answered with one message received to my phone... which i didnt wanna see... because all these messages do.. is create shit... but i had to... i had to understand... i had to know what to do... i opened the message... where i found shit getting more and more and more
" ur sad? u miss her? well... try to get used to it... i can leave u here now and tomorrow u will be sentenced to death for killing ur colleague... but where is the fun?!! .... lets make some rules... any person u talk to within the school... will be in rachel's place... so u better start being silent... and if u give it a try with the police... i will go with ur parents... thats rule no. 1... if u can do with it... we are good... if u fail... someone dies... and we go to rule 2... and dont worry... the security guy is gone... he is dead... u can say we already started... and btw... rachel didnt suffer... a throat getting cut is a quick death... next time it will be harder... and so on... so go home... and try not to talk... a word is worth a life...  so take care when and where u wanna talk.... "
i cant even think of where to start thinking.... i put my phone in my pocket... and ran outside... ran past the gates... and ran back home... as fast as i could... with adrenaline pumping in every inch of my body... and as i reached home... i climbed to the window... took of my clothes... and jumped into bed naked... and this is were thinking began...
why me?.. why me?!!... why fuckin me!!... how am i supposed to go to school and come back without saying a word... who is fucking me up.. i kept asking and asking... until i just couldnt stop my brain from stopping... and i couldnt feel myself until the alarm rang... waking me up 9 in the morning... wishing it was all a dream... i tried to act normal... and avoid talking at home... considering it training for school... and i didnt have breakfast or wait for my father to drive me... i just left early.. took a cab.. and slept on the way... " wake up sir.. were there.. ".... " okay.. thanks.. keep the change "
and i entered through the gates going to dr. sara's office while avoiding all the " hi " and " good morning " that are being said... i reached dr. sara's office... and there was no single drop of blood... everything was clear... and i realized everybody was normal... and this is when i started realizing that it was a fuckin dream... or u can say a nightmare... whatever it was... im free... i can talk.. i can have fun... go fuck rachel... enjoy... " it was a mess wasnt it? " that was the message i received which shot me down and me realize im still in the same shit hole... i entered my first class... which i cant really remember what it was about... because i kinda slept all the time.. to avoid any talking... next lecture... was with dr. sara... i entered early " as always "... and decided to sit at the back... to avoid any talking... and by time students entered and then her... hot as usual... she started the class... and it went by smooth.... until it ended... and i was about to leave.. " u r all free to go now... except u thomas.. " thats what she said when everybody started leaving... until it was just me and her... " whats wrong with u..?..... why aint u paying attention...?.......... fuckin answer me!! " i just couldnt say a word... i took a pen and a paper from her desk and wrote " i speak... u die... " and she started asking and bla bla bla.... and i just left her class... and went down... and walked out... and took a cab back home... and i also slept on the way home... but when i arrived... i found a message on me phone...
" should we consider writing as talking...?... u like her dont u.. lets make this easy... every day... at midnight... if u make a mistake... a body will be in college... so try not to make mistakes... try to be a good boy to avoid trouble.. "
okay... so its very likely that today at midnight the great dr. sara will be dead... after everybody has seen her screaming at me... isnt this fuckin great?! what am i fuckin supposed to do now?!.... i entered the house and got up to my room ignoring parents chit chats.... and i took some sleeping pills from my mom's drawer... and all i could think of was fuck everything... just let it all disappear... i woke up around 11:30 pm.... and kept looking at my phone and thinking wether to go.. or not... until the clock ticked 11:50 and i got this message... " rule 2.. its all about trust... dr. sara's life depends on how much i trust u now... this is how it goes.... get a coin... choose heads or tails... and flip it... and then send me what u got... then check the bottom of the message... if its the same... she lives... if its different... lets just pray for her... "
i got a coin... flipped it... and waited for it flipping so slowly inside my mind... until it dropped inside my hands...
" heads "... thats what i got... i thought of checking the message first... but i knew this person sees me well enough to know... so i sent it... and opened her message again... and while im scrolling down im asking myself... have i killed her... have i made her live... how lucky is she.... how lucky am i... all these questions were answered when i reached the bottom of the message... and i just wish i didnt...