Nerd By Day, Street Fighter By Night (COMPLETED, but editing)

Chapter 21

In and out, in and out. Gosh that sounds so wrong. Breathe in and out. Nothing else. I don't think I can breathe though. The thought of the name, it kills me. I sound like a whiney bitch saying everything kills me, but a lot of things do kill me on the inside. Zack, memories, my fathers harshness, old nicknames. So many things that I wish didn't have that kind of effect on me. I wish they didn't have the effect of choking me. I wish they didn't have the effect of killing me. I feel like I'm alone right now, nobody is here to help me. I'm helpless. I'm going to die with terrible thoughts in my head, just think about lollipops and butterflies. Haha, Zander's lollipop. Shit! What the heck, don't think about that at a time like this. Or do. I mean if I'm going to die, that wouldn't be such a bad thought to end my life with. I'm an idiot. Stop. Fights with myself aren't a good thing to be having when I die. Then I'm dead and I hate myself big no.

"So, we have you a task." Said Brian as he sat around a round table in the basement. I sat too on the dirty seat.

"Shut up Brian, let me do the talking!" Randy said. Brian shut up from that, "After your fights, we are going to need you to go into those back allies and give some people drugs and stuff. Okay?" I nod at the information he's giving me. Like hell I will.

"Randy!" Someone yelled at the top of the stairs, a very familiar voice at that.

"Come down here!" Randy says and Zander walks down the stairs. He sees me and gives me that look. I think it was his way of telling me good job.

"Yes?" Zander asks his father.

"As you see, Anne here, has joined the gang. It's your turn now." I cringe at Randy. That bastard thinks he has the right to call me that. It makes me want to knock him cold.

"What makes you think you can make me join?" Zander asks with a smirk on his face.

"I'll tell the whole school your secret." Brian butts in.

"Fine, go ahead, tell them." Zander says and storms upstairs. If that wasn't zero to one hundred real quick, I don't know what is. He just freaked. One second he's all cool and mysterious and the next he's angry and storming up the stairs. I don't get him.

"Do you get it Anne?" Randy asks. I nod my head, not trusting my voice. It wouldn't sound right. It'd crack or sound mad. I'm scared and angry. It doesn't mix well. I try my hardest to not glare daggers at Randy, but it's really hard not to. He's so annoying and makes me want to just punch something. Brian's gets up and I follow. We walk to his car and I pass Zander on the way there, he's sitting in his car which is parked in the driveway. He winks at me. Bipolar much? I keep walking following Brian to memory land. I hate his car. I get in and buckle my seat belt. I still feel so uncomfortable in his car. I mean it has a bunch of memories and I hate memories because they're the past. They will never happen again. Some memories are good, like this whole car brings back good times, but some memories that are good, turn bad. Like this whole car that brings back good times, it also reminds me of when I was happy. A few minutes later, we pull up outside my house. I stare at it, not wanting to go in because I'm scared of the memories that it holds too. I hate this all. The car holds memories, the house holds memories, I can't seem to get away. I'm about to open the door, but Brian clasps his hand on my shoulder.

"There's one more condition C." Brian says.

"What do you want? I've given you enough. You practically control me now! What else could you want?" I ask annoyed. Is there anything else that I can give him?

"As of right now, you are my girlfriend again, and don't say no. If you do, your secret is out," He says and I stare at him in awe. Is he seriously making date him again? I can't believe how pathetic this is.

"I don't want that," I tell him, "I've gotten over you, I'm okay now. You can't just, you're controlling me, I can't believe you-" I'm cut off. With what you ask? A pair of lips on mine, very familiar lips. Brian's. Me being the big wuss I am, kiss him back. I think maybe I was caught in the moment. Or maybe he drugged me, I don't know. All I know is that we are kissing each other. His lips on mine. He's reaching over the center console holding my face in his hands. I eventually pull away with wide eyes. This is not happening. Tell me this is a dream, a nightmare!

"C, I fucking miss you. Like really fucking miss you. I'm disappointed in myself for ever letting you go because you were the best thing I could ever ask for. I was an idiot. I walked into this gang for what? The money maybe! I don't even know! I wasn't thinking, but once you're in, you're never out. I hate that because if I had to choose between the gang of you, in a heartbeat I would choose you. And now you've joined the gang, so we can be together again! I miss you and love you." He says. I stare at him, what am I supposed to say? I love you too! Let's skip off into the sunset.

"And I loved you. Past tense. You broke my heart. I may be in the gang, but we are over. It was great while it lasted, amazing even, but all good things come to an end. We have come to an end." I tell him feeling bad. If it were the old me, I would've taken him back in a heartbeat, probably had sex with him in the back of the car, but I've accepted the fact that I don't love him anymore.

"Well that really sucks because you're my girlfriend either way, unless you want your secret spilled." He says, "Now I suggest you get out. Love you C." He says. I get out of the car and a few seconds later he is speeding off. I walk to my front doors and go up to my room. I plop on my bed and sigh. If he weren't in the gang, my answer may have been a lot different. If I didn't have a tiny crush on Zander, my answer would have definitely been a lot different.

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Word count:1,157
7/26/16
A/N:
Hey lovlies. I kind of didn't want to update today because I just feel like texting with my friends as reading. I really want to finish my book that has like 90 chapters and every chapter is really long, but I need to know! I still have like 30 chapters left so Ahhhh. I want to finish tonight, so that's why I thought of ditching you guys, but I didn't because I love y'all too damn much! But I really need to go read so, btw the books call I sold myself to the devil for vinyls...pitiful, I know. It's so good!! Read it!

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Lots of love,
Ana<3