Hey yo, the name's Tanaka Mayu. I had a lovely day when some WILD FANGIRL shows up and uses push. I got pushed to a truck then I died. When I saw the bright light again.... MY EYES!!! WHERE AM I?!?! Wait... where the heck am I? And is that Hiashi? N...
Ree and Hidan were drunk. I face palmed as they sang out something an incorrigible sentence, making them both burst in laughter.
Hidan had just brought alcohol for himself while buying things he need. Ree and I went shopping for our needs and some food and I definitely could not trust Hidan with food. He would have just bought instant packs or something. Instant ramen, instant curry, and instant rice has gotten old.
Then, Ree thought that his sake was juice and decided to drink it for herself. So here I was, babysitting my friends due to their stupidness.
"Hidan. What's one plus one?" I asked, raising my pointing fingers to emphasize on it. He squinted at my fingers confusedly and laughed. "Ah you da stoopid?" He slurred. "It's 4!! Heehee, I can shee yo fingas" He giggled even more. I face palmed. He isn't even sober enough to do a simple 1+1 math problem. I turned to Ree, whose face was flushed and she kept on widening her eyes and squinting, before whispering,
"Ah shee you, cookie monshtah. You an't gonna eat mah cookie!!!" She bared her teeth before crying. I was bewildered, but then I realized. Ree is the overly-emotional drunk, while Hidan's just the plain stupid one. Me? I have no idea.
I was snapped out of my thoughts of misery when Ree pulled my arms.
"Nezi, ah you gonna be da nescht Hitora?" Ree asked seriously. I was confused, what the heck is she talkin' 'bout?
"Hitora?" I scrunched my whole face exaggeratingly, to emphasize on how confuse I am, plus how stupid she is.
"Ya know? Hitora" She repeated. I tried to think about it. Fire Tiger? No, I don't think so. She just said was I going to be the the next Hitora.....
I slapped her in the forehead.
"NO, I'M NOT!!! EVEN IF HITLER IS A GREAT MAN WHO ACTUALLY ONLY THINKS ABOUT THE BETTERMENT OF HIS COUNTRY, A GOOD MAN WITH BAD INTENTIONS, I, AM NEVER EVER EVER, I MEAN NEVER, BECOME HITLER!!!" I screamed at her. She looked at me with a surprised look on her face before she started crying. Oh god, I just set the bomb.
"Hidan-kyuuuuunnnn!!!! Nazi, I mean Nezi's being mean to meeeeee!!!!" Ree cried on a still drinking Hidan, who jolted in surprise and looked angry at both of us. But, before he has anything to say, the bush rustled, causing me to stiffen and tense up to try and examine the possible threat, I mean it could be a bunny.
But instead of a bunny, a lady came bursting out of it. Red, disheveled hair, and panting heavily, this woman looks like she's either running away from something, or by the looks of it, she wants some alcohol in her system.
"Gimme summudat" She said, snatching the sake bottle off of Hidan's hand and gulped it down like how I drink milk straight from the carton.
"Ah~ Nothing like a good alcohol in my system!" She said, sighing out like an old man.
"By the way, you said something about Hitler?" The woman tilted her head. Oooooo, a Ranha........Why didn't I sense this at all?
The woman nodded solemnly, a hand on her chin, as we explained to her right after they all gotten sober. Ree and I were seated right in front of her while Hidan was keeping watch from up above the tree.
"Hmmm, so we aren't the only ones, eh?" She grimly said. I looked at her and looked at Ree. Ree nodded, understanding what I'm silently asking her, and took out the Scroll from her seal.
She laid it out on the ground and pointed at the number that kept on fluctuating.
"If you look at this," Ree said, "You can see the numbers changing. We aren't sure what are the causes of deaths, but you should remember that the Naruto world is a violent world. It doesn't show on the anime because, well, it's for kids. And too much violent will make them lose money." Ree shrugged.
"So....what are we called?" The woman asked curiously. Ree and I shared a grin.
"At first, I offered a name for us. Titans." Ree started
"But, I didn't want that. I mean, look at that horrible ugly naked thing, running so weirdly. Have you even heard the jokes the fans are making about it? I mean, the Marco jokes? It was at first saddening, then hilarious, then boring because it's too overused." I commented.
"We thought of different variations of name from different languages like Chinese, Japanese, Indonesian, or even just somethings that represents our situation. Nezi and I don't like Lotus as it's too girly" Ree picked up
"So, we decided on the Chinese name of lotus, Lián Huā. But then, we forgot that we are in a Japanese speaking country, and Hidan couldn't even pronounce it properly" I shrugged. The three of us ignored Hidan cursing us for that part, screaming out how it's not his fault. I don't know why we weren't even picked out by some bandits, thieves or even ninjas due to the racket we were making.
"So, I suggested that we call it an easier name. So that even Hidan could pronounce it" Ree commented idly at the last part. Once again, we ignored Hidan's screams of something getting louder.
"Ranha. It was a name that was easier to pronounce and easy to remember. It sounds like Ranma anyways" I said.
"M'kay..." The woman mumbled before shaking her head like a dog. She started grinning at us and held out a hand towards us.
"Hi! I'm Uzumaki Maruko! Formerly Natalie Wu. Nice ta meet 'cha!!" She grinned. I idly thought of the little girl with white shirt and red skirt and some suspenders. (A/N: The girl below from the show called 'Chibi Maruko-chan')
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Well, she's half a decent person anyways" Ree commented
. . . .
"REEEEEE!!!!" I cried in outrage.
So the whole time, Maruko spend the time contemplating the meaning of her whole life while I try to hit Ree who was running away, with tears in my eyes.
