Loving you is suicide || Dazai x Reader #BSDWattys2017

❝Affection❞

I could feel Dazai's eyes on me as we walked and I could almost imagine the amused smile that must have been on his face. Long fingers tentatively brushed against mine before they interlaced. I sighed softly, still refusing to look at him.

"What are you doing?", I asked, annoyed, but not attempting to look away. Dazai gave a false surprised and innocent look.

"What?", He asked sweetly. "Am I not allowed to hold my girlfriends hand?" I turned my head away from him, trying to hide my blooming blush. I shrugged.

"You just never do these kinds of things." I muttered, trailing off. Dazai stayed quiet this time. Despite Dazai's charming and bubbly personality, he wasn't really the touchy-feely sort. He flirted with women often, (even while we're together) but he never touched a woman inappropriately or had the desire to. Even after all these years, Dazai was still an enigma to me, a puzzle that was nearly impossible to solve.

I glanced at him. Out of all people in the world, why was he the one I loved?

To be honest, I had no clue. Maybe it was because he was deeply rooted in my past. Perhaps it was because we were both damaged, hurting souls. Dazai gave me hope, stength and peace- Without him, I was nothing.

"What are you thinking about, my belladonna?", Dazai asked, softly. I wrinkled my nose at him.

"You know I hate that nickname." Dazai laughed.

"Why?", he asked, his voice dripping with fake innocence. "It means 'beautiful lady' after all." I rolled my eyes.

"It's also another word for 'Deadly nightshade.'", I encountered. Dazai's eyes softened wile a small smile curled the corner his lip. He reached up his other hand to push a piece of my (h/l) (h/c) hair out of my face and brushed his thumb over my cheek, then my lips.

"That's because you are my nightshade." Dazai murmured. "I desire death at your hands. Or even better, with you by my side. All I dream of is a double suicide with my belladonna, my beautiful lady, my nightshade." I sighed and squeezed his hand.

"And my only desire is for you to be happy.", I said. Dazai raised his eyebrows in surprise. "If a double suicide makes you happy. Then I'll do it." Excitement swam through his brown eyes. "However, not yet. I'll make it a future possibility." Dazai nodded in understanding.

"Of course.", He said, smiling. I still heard excitement in his voice.

The rest of our walk was silent, and he held me closer than ever before. However, the peace was interrupted by the obnoxious ringing of my cell phone. I flipped open the device and answered.

"Oi, (y/n)! Have you found Dazai yet?" Kunikida's voice echoed through the phone.

"Yes, yes I did. ... No! thanks to you!" Before I could get a response, Dazai snatched the phone out of my hands, placing in on his ear.

"Ah~ Good evening Kunikida-kun~", Dazai sang.

"Dazai?!" I heard Kunikida yell. "Where the hell have you been?! Do you know how much work you left me?! You crazy bastard!"

"Kunikida-kun.", Dazai said in a warning tone. "Do you know if you yell like that, your hair will eventually turn grey and fall out?" There was a pause on the other line.

"Really?" the ever gullible Kunikida asked.

"Yes! One hundred percent!", Dazai said. "You should write that down!" I could almost hear Kunikida's pencil against the thick pages of his notebook and see the concentrated look that must have been on his face. I could faintly hear him repeating Dazai's advise. "I'm just kidding.", Dazai finally said.

"WHAT? YOU BASTARD! WHEN YOU GET BACK I'LL-"

"We're almost at the Agency. Don't wait up for us.", Dazai said before hanging up the phone.

"You know, you should probably get your partner to like you, instead of pushing his buttons." I said, giggling.

"What's the fun in that?" He asked, grinning.

We entered the Agency. "Ooh! Look who's back!", a female voice cooed. From out of the shadows, the Agency's doctor, Yosano, appeared. "Welcome home~" Her sharp pink eyes scanned our bodies. "Aren't you guys hurt at all?", Yosano asked, a sadistic glint appearing in her eye. "If so, I can fix it!" Dazai and I assured her that we're perfectly fine. She signed in disappointment and strode away from us to another part of the building.

From the back of the room, Atsushi stirred, slowly waking from his nap. His large eyes blinked a few times before the widened in shock. "(y/n)-chan! Dazai-san! You're back!"

"Atsushi-kun.", Dazai said. "Did you fall asleep on the job?" The boy's face flushed in embarrassment and shame.

"I-I'm so sorry Dazai-san! It won't happen again!" Dazai laughed and playfully ruffled Atsushi's hair.

"Don't worry, Atsushi-kun!", Dazai said, "I do it all the time~"

Dazai let out a low yawn and stretched. "Well, today has been a long day! I think I'm going to turn in."

"You haven't even done anything, bastard!" Kunikida growled lowly.

"Goodnight everyone!" Dazai turned to me. "Goodnight (y/n)" Dazai leaned forward, snatching an unexpected kiss. When he pulled away, I found that I wasn't the only one blushing crimson- Atsushi seemed quite embarrassed too with having witnessed the kiss. Dazai walked to the door, about to exit, when he suddenly turned around. "Oh, and, Ranpo-san!", Dazai called out to the man. Ranpo looked up to the call of his name. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't kiss my girlfriend. I quite dislike the taste of butterscotch." A smile grew on Ranpo's face.

"My apologies.", He called back. "But it's very rare that a pretty girl asks me to kiss her." He smirked. Anger surged through me.

"I didn't ask for it!" I shouted, embarrassed.

I smiled.

Ugh these people... I love them.

987 words, edited