Loving you is suicide || Dazai x Reader #BSDWattys2017

❝New case❞

...

I woke up in the dark, sobbing. Dazai stirred next to me and immediately wrapped his arms tighter around my waist. My fingers grasped the bandage on hist chest as I cried onto his shoulder. I felt Dazai run his fingers through my hair.

"Shh, (y/n), it's okay.", he murmured. "I'm right here, you're alright. you'll be fine." As my crying slowly subsided, I relaxed my tense body and pressed closer to Dazai. I felt him place a kiss on the top of my head and his fingertips rubbing my back. "Did you have another dream?", he asked. I nodded.

"Yes. I-I mean, no." I gave an annoyed huff. "They're more like flashbacks, I guess." Dazai sighed.

"I suspected.", he said. Pulling back, I looked up at him, surprised.

"W-What? You knew?" Dazai nodded, smiling.

"I know you better than anyone else, (y/n). You seem to forget that.", he said. "so of course I did." Settling back into his arms, I frowned.

"These flashbacks are different."

"How so?" I chewed my bottom lip.

"It's like I'm a witness to the events rather than being the one at the center of them.", I explained. "I'm outside of my own body, watching in third person." I shuddered. "I hate it. It's even more unsettling that reliving old memories." Dazai was quiet for a moment.

"What memories are you reliving?", he asked. I hesitated. "(y/n)?" Dazai nudged me. "I'm not letting this one go. Which memories?" I sighed.

"My memories of you.", I said. "When we were still in the Port Mafia." Dazai's body tensed against mine. I wasn't quite sure why, but it frightened me to get such a reaction. Dazai probably sensed my fear because he relaxed again and pulled me closer.

"Those times are in the past, (y/n).", Dazai assured. "We're both very different people. Now, get some rest." I nodded. My eyelids drooped before I fell back asleep."

~~~

the next morning, I woke up alone. Dazai had left sometime in the night. I frowned at the empty space. The blanket suddenly felt cold and I shivered underneath it. Yawing and stretching, I sat up on my sleeping mat, gazing through the slowly rising light. It seemed that Dazai left without a trace. His clothes were gone as well as his stuff. I was confused and slightly hurt by his disappearance until I found a note and a steaming cup of tea next to my mat.

My Belladonna,

I'm sorry I did not have the luxury to wake up with you this morning. I was called in early to the Angency. What a pain. Please accept this tea and my sincerest apology.

- Dazai 

P.S. Have I ever told you how beautiful you look when you're asleep? I could sit and look for hours.

A smile pulled at my lips. One thing that sparked my curiosity was Dazai's sudden affection toward me. Yes, we kissed many times and had an 'intimate' relationship, but it wasn'tnecessarily a normal occurrence. Whit a sigh, I gulped down my tea, barely taking a pause to breathe. After downing the beverage, I dressed for the day and went to the Agency.

Inside, I found that not only Dazai was gone, but Kunikida as well. Since they were partners, it would make sense that they they'd be sent out on a mission together. Ranpo was in a meeting with the President while Tanizaki, Kenji and Atsushi were in the office room. Purple-yellow eyes widened as I entered.

"(Y/n)-chan!", Atsushi called to me. "Are you feeling alright?" I smiled and nodded. "Oh, thank goodness! I was so worried! Dazai-san assured me that you'd be fine, but I couldn't help my concern." Atsushi shook his head. "Akutagawa will pay for what he's caused our Agency." I chuckled at the boy's determination and anger.

"Maybe someday.", I agreed. "But I'd like the entire Port Mafia to pay while we're at it." Atsushi heartily agreed. At that moment, the door of the President's office flew open. The President himself exited the office with Ranpo at his side. Clearing his throat, the President turned to address me directly.

"(Y/n)", he began, "I have just briefed Ranpo on a case that the Yokohama police have requested help on. I would like you and Atsushi to escort Ranpo to the crime scene." I nodded.

"Would you like me to teleport, sir?" The President shook his head.

"I have been informed that you've been overusing your ability as of late.", he replied. "I recommend taking the train system. I shall message you the address of the scene."

"Yes, sir." I grabbed my needed equipment and left the Agency with Atsushi and Ranpo.

"Ah, (y/n)-chan!", Ranpo sang. "It seems that we're finally working on a case together again!" In the Agency, I was considered to be Ranpo's partner. He really didn't need my help with cases as his memory was even better than mine, but I was the only one of the only ones who knew how to handle him. I gave the detective a wide smile.

"Yes.", I said. "It's been a while since last time. The last one was a serial killer, I believe." Ranpo hummed in agreement.

"It was quite boring!", Ranpo recalled. "It turned out to be that butcher. He'd go out at night finding young woman to kill and mutilate. The remains were always found in plastic bags strung up on meat hooks around random areas of the city." Atsushi's face paled.

"Yes indeed. How long did it take you to figure out? Twenty-three seconds?" Ranpo nodded, giving me a close eyed smile.

"I'm flattered that you remembered, (y/n).", Ranpo said. "You might want to be careful." I gave him a curious look. "Men don't usually like women with good memory since they are often proven wrong in arguments." Smirking I replied:

"Oh, and what do you think, Ranpo-san?", I said in a flirtatious way. He smiled, lifting his eyelids.

"I find it to be an extremely attractive quality in a woman." I noticed a blush that eruptedon Atsushi's face. I laughed at the boy's reaction.

"Don't look so alarmed, Atsushi-kun!", I said. "This is how Ranpo and I talk to each other. I could never date someone so arrogant and lazy as Ranpo-san."

"And I could never be with someone so loud and talkative as you, (y/n).", Ranpo replied, rubbing his hands over his ears. As we continued, we discussed even more cases with Atsushi. Eventually, the three of us reached the train station. I purchased our tickets and we hopped on board and into our own compartment.

1089 words, unedited