Sarah's Roses, Book I: Roses of Blue

Chapter XX

Chapter XX

My eyes felt as though they were made of lead and it was all I could muster to try and lift my eyelids. When I finally did get them to open, everything was blurry and I had trouble focusing. My head swam and I couldn’t understand where I was or what was going on. I closed my eyes and then forced them open again; the same blurriness surrounded me. I vainly tried to lift my head and suddenly noticed a face looking over at me; those green eyes looked strangely familiar.

“Uncle Andrew?” My voice was so weak I could barely hear the words I had just spoken.

“Doctor,” his voice was so distant, “doctor, she’s awakened.”

Soon another face was leaning over mine, this one I didn’t recognize at all.

“What is…” I began but was cut off.

“Now, lie still little Miss, you’ve been through the valley and it will take a lot of rest till you come around.”

I was going to ask what valley he was talking about, I certainly didn’t remember going through any valley, but I felt so tired that instead I just closed my eyes.

The next thing I remember is waking up again. A hand was holding mine, and from the touch, it felt as though the owner was a man. I forced my eyes open and found everything was still blurry and I still was unable to focus on my surroundings. Someone was sitting beside me and another someone was walking here and there, but the blurriness in my eyes prevented me from determining who these two people where. The next couple of days passed by in a blur, and I have trouble recalling what happened exactly. With time the blurriness began to disappear and I could stay awake for longer periods of time. As my vision cleared I was able to recognize the people in my room. Elsie was the only person who never left my side, Uncle Andrew visited me as often as he could, sitting by my bed and holding my hand. Em and Lulu would sometimes appear, carrying trays with dishes and medicine. Dr. Morris was another regular visitor, pouring all sorts of unpleasant medicines down my throat and measuring my pulse with his watch. Aunt Helen was the only one who didn't visit me, never once when I was awake did I see her in the room. For a long time I wasn’t allowed to talk, but one incident made me put this rule aside.

I was awake, but had my eyes closed. Suddenly a large weather-beaten hand gently took my own.

“Dearest Sarah,” Sammy’s voice spoke in a whisper.

What was here doing here? How did he get into my room? Why wasn’t Elsie saying anything about him being here?

 “I’s honestly wish you would have told me the full truth about why you had to so suddenly break with me, it would have made everything so much easier for me and for you. I’s also come to say I’s sorry for not being more understanding to your side of the whole thing. You are a white girl and I am a black man, society forbids us to have anything together. I wish I knew why, but I don’t, and even though it is so unfair, what can we do? We are but pawns in this great game of life, and must play the rules, no matter how unjust they may be. I hope there will come a day when those rules will be changed, but even if such a day were to come, it probably won’t be soon and it certainly won’t be today. I’s have been so worried for you these past couple of weeks, more than once I had heard that you weren’t not going to make it and that knowledge nearly broke my heart. You need to live Sarah, surely you understand that! I don’t care what the Mistress may have told you because it is not true. You were meant to live, you have to live.”

The way he was going on, you’d think he was giving the speech for my funeral. “Honestly, Sam,” I spoke in a frail voice, forcing my heavy head to turn and opening my eyes to look at him, “don’t bury me before I actually die.”