The girl who brought peace

Chapter 46

Jasper's POV

"Remember when I went through a stage where I thought I couldn't be who I was anymore. How every emotion I felt, brought me closer and closer to the edge and no matter how much I hunted, I was always starving" I say looking more at Alice rather than the rest of my family "Remember how I kept leaving the house at all hours during the day or even during the nights" Alice nodded, feeling her confusion building "And do you all remember, the first time in god knows how many years where I came back home calm and relaxed and you all had concerns asking where I've been or what I had been doing during whenever I left to get some time by myself. I'll admit I was at a really low point-forever feeling only everyone's dark emotions during school hours on top of starving really took a lot out of me, which all you of course know. What you didn't know, was that I use to run as far as I could away from our home, away from the negative emotions where it would just be myself and my own feelings at first. I even ran from Alice. Of course she knew where I was but she always got some blank spots during my time away... that was Scarlet" I say looking at each and everyone of my family going as far as projecting my emotions for all of them to feel what I felt day in and day out. "I first met Scarlet when I volunteered at a nursery in London. It was completely out of the blue but I had to get far away from everyone's emotions. It was the only place I could be where my powers didn't effect me as much. I started feeling lighter. Children's emotions are so pure, they don't feel what teenagers or even adults feel. It made me feel less of a monster for being a vampire, less and less just knowing I was helping. I could actually understand Carlisle need to help others, what's the point of living for eternity if you can't help people throughout their life. I met Scarlet when she first came to her school, quiet little thing but with a big heart.She was playing in the garden-she was doing nothing special just playing with her little pink doll but the moment she saw me she didn't react badly like most children do when seeing a new person, she just tilted her head whilst staring me in the eye and said "Sad, why yous sad" and honestly I was shocked. I could remember thinking how could this little girl tell that something was wrong but I quickly brushed it away not thinking too much of it "Nothing to worry your little head about" I remember replying before walking away too surprised to stay until I got my thoughts in order. Until something made me stop in my tracks when I heard a small cry, I remember turning round to see that Scarlet tried to head seemingly in my direction but tripped over her toy doll and I couldn't stop the flinch expecting the onslaught of emotions from her 'pain and sadness' but none came, it was the first time someone's emotions didn't effect me, I say lost in thought, how one little girl could stop all the emotions with one little encounter without even trying. It never stopped there though, she was one stubborn girl let me tell you. everyday she would come into nursery and be determined to find me. I alway found it odd how she could even remember me but one glance at me she would tilt her head and say "no sad today" and would toddle over to me and wrap her chubby arms round my knee before waiting, like she was expecting something what, I was never sure. I asked her once what she was waiting for, I didn't really expect a reply but to my surprise she did "Jas cold, Scar warm up" and I laughed, I remember that it was the first real laugh I've had in a while. "Scar up Jas!" looking down I saw Scarlets chubby little arms reaching out towards me with sparkling emerald eyes looking up at me and to tell you all the truth my cold dead heart melted, I carefully picked her up into my arms only for Scarlet to snuggle into my chest. I don't think much of it until I heard a tiny whisper "Jas no beat heart" I froze speechless not knowing how to react, was I meant to lie or ignore what she said all together. I remember feeling panicked that Scarlet would react badly, become frightened of me and that feeling in itself shocked me, how could a little girl I've only met a couple of times wormed her way into my unbeaten heart? Like a daughter I now can never can have being what I am. "I guess I lost my heart princess" I whisper hoping knowing one was listening. "Jas no need, Jas good the way he is" Scarlet said sticking her little nose into the air stubbornly before tightening her grip. I was always worried when Scarlet came into contact with me, there was so many ways I could of hurt her, and that thought killed me. I knew she wasn't safe with me but the further I pulled away to keep myself from developing paternal feelings, just knowing the longer I stayed the stronger the heart break I would feel just knowing I would have to go back to my family and leave the little girl who I thought of as my own baby sister. With all the thoughts flying through my head I couldn't help but delicately hug scarlet closer to my chest, always watching for any hints where she may be too cold due to my vampire skin or if I'm holding her too tight.

That was one of the best things about getting to know Scarlet, the way it always made me aware of how strong I was and even how much I would need to feed before coming to the nursery itself, but I noticed the more I was with Scarlet the less I myself, but then again Scarlet was always different, while most children at the nursery shy away from my cold as ice skin but Scarlet it seemed preferred it, always seeking out my hand for her to hold to to be held and her scent, if I was ever worried about slipping up around all the humans or petrified of hurting anyone with my strength, Scarlet alway seemed to sense it and would come toddling over to me and would raise her arms in the air "Jas sad, Scar make better" she would say before cuddling up to me. She was a stubborn little thing but she always had patience, if she could notice something wrong she would always come up to me to be held, she seemed to always realise that her comfort made me happy, of course she never realised it was her calming scent and just her being the way she was, a light hearted child who changed my life for the better. And just knowing I had to leave soon broke my non beating heart in two" looking up at the ceiling where Scarlet was just older but still no less my baby sister... even if she doesn't remember "I remember the day I left, a look of pure sadness I felt without even my power in Scarlet's eyes... like she knew I wouldn't be coming back but the smallest smile on her lips, knowing I was leaving with a lighter heart.