Can I stay? (Gerard Way x Reader)

The End? (50)

TW - Self Harm, mentions of suicide

My ears are ringing and my voice hurts and I can't hear a thing. I can feel arms around me but I'm pretty sure it's not Gerard. It's almost as if things are happening in slow motion, this is my nightmare come true. I close my eyes and squeeze them shut before opening them and tearing away from the arms around me. 

I look up just quick enough to see Gerard running away in tears followed by Ray and I can feel my heart burst. I have gone too far by screaming and now I've probably made him worse. I am so useless. I should be gone. Now.

I turn around and run upstairs as fast as I can. Frank tears upstairs after me but he isn't quick enough. I go straight up to the bathroom and grab a bottle of pills. This is it. I'm useless. I can't breathe. I open the bottle and pour some out. I'm useless. I can't breathe.

I'm just about to put them in my mouth when Frank tackles me and pushes the bottle from my hands causing the pills to go everywhere. I'm still sobbing uncontrollably and I can't breathe. I try to hit him and lash out my uncontrollable brain going into hyper mode. But Frank just hugs me and holds my arms at my sides so that I can't move. Why does he have to be so god damn strong. I can hear him talking and I try to focus on that on anything, to get my brain to calm down. 

"Stop Y/N, it's okay. Just stop. Breathe. In and out just breathe. It's going to be okay, I promise. I'm here just talk to me. You ae worth it to stay here. You are worth it to live. Just breathe and relax. please" Frank is chanting and if I'm being honest he sounds desperate and terrified. He is holding onto me so tight now and I have a feeling he is almost doing it for himself. 

I focus on taking deep breaths and I do get calmer but I can't stop crying. He lets go of me and sits down next to me against the tiled wall. He looks into my eyes and tells me it's going to be okay but It doesn't feel like that right now. At all

I look over at frank. He seems so effortless in a cool grey t-shirt and his tatoo covered arms and I can feel myself relaxing. I lean into him and just let the tears roll through and he leans over me telling me it's going to be okay. It seems odd for Frank to be so compassionate but he really does care and that makes my heart smile. 

"Why did you stop me" I whisper leaning up against the wall again.

"Because you are worth it. You are strong and an amazing singer and one of my best friends so I need you to stay around. I need you Y/N" Frank says slowly and his cheeks go a little red as if he was embarrased. 

Someone needs me, maybe I'm not so useless at all. Then my real brain kicks in and realise how much of a mess I have made. I must make a face because Frank asks if I'm okay

"Shit, yeah just how am I going to sort things out with Gerard" Y

"Give him some time, Ray is with him now and he will get better. He always does" F

"But I can't give him time forever" Y

"No but we will get there. He really likes you and I have a feeling he will want to talk to you too" F

I will fix this. All of this. One step at a time. I wonder how Gee is doing now..