LOVESICK

Chapter Twenty Six: Not getting better

It's January fifteenth,New years has passed,
My birthday did too,for both occasions i was lavished with gifts beyond imagination,gifts that make me feel like I'm not missing anything in life,

But still,My mental and physical health is deteriorating,I'm hesitant to talk,Nothing was special about December considering how it os my favorite month of the year.

Manly it's been boring for me ever since Ivan left.

He went on a business trip to France,
I spent all that time with Maria and Extra security,I couldn't step a foot outside,
Nancy said that,that was our chance to escape but I hesitated,there was something wrong and i knew it,security was everywhere even inside the house,

Nancy kept touching me with every chance she got,my safe heaven Ivan wasn't here for me,
I couldn't manage,i was being harassed every night,he was meant to come on the Sixteenth,Tomorrow my safe heaven will be back.

Nancy kept hurting me,she yelled at me she touched me she didn't have a problem pinning me down when she needed,I trusted her,but she's not trustable anymore,I couldn't handle all that,Ever since Ivan left,she would open the door and climb on my bed and just...Hurt me,

I'm scared,i need Ivan,Every night it would get worse and worse,she doesn't accept rejection,
It got to the point of locking my doors when i sleep before she comes in and force me...I cannot sleep without my doors locked,

Its so crazy,the way she went from the only person i trust to the person i fear the most,
Maria was right about her,Nancy isn't what she seems like..i wish I had listened,

I just wrap myself in those blankets as my heart beats faster when i hear the door knob juggle,she's trying to get inside she's trying to open the locked doors,on top of the abuse the past god knows how much weeks,

I keep hallucinating,i keep seeing all those dead people,i keep feeling sick,
I'm not normal,something is fucking up in me,
Where is my safe heaven?

I close my eyes hoping that i could sleep again for once,I've not had a good night's sleep ever since I cane here,i close my eyes but I cannot sleep,

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I woke up alone and tired at 11am,Snow was sleeping on Bed next to me,
I got up carefully not to wake her up,although i just couldn't hold myself back from petting this adorable little thing disrupting her sleep.

I didn't change or bother to dress up i just needed to wash my face,I walked out of the room keeping the door open just incase snow wants to get out of the room when she wakes up,Its been two weeks without Ivan and he's supposed to be here,

He told me he was supposed to be here already but he isn't,I walked downstairs to find Maria I needed to explain what was going on with me,maybe she could help,

Again the security guards just standing in the living room like statues,i was pissed to why the security was so strict,but yet again you have Nancy in the house,

"Maria..." I called her name as I walked into the kitchen,
"Good morning dear" she was drying her hands with her white apron,she seemed like she was just done from washing the dishes despite the kitchen having a dishwasher,

"Where is Ivan? He said that he'd be here on the Sixteenth,the morning but he's not here" I complained as i sat down on the chair next to the window facing the road leading up to the house,
"Flights get delayed so don't stress yourself," She put a cup of tea and started to take out some food from the fridge for me to eat,