Falling Out of Time

Mark | Change

Change

Mark shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He normally loved lunch. It was time he reserved for talking to Amber without fear of getting in trouble. Today he had been excited to discuss the newest Pokemon episode, but when he walked into the cafeteria, he hadn't found her sitting at their usual table.

He had found Amber — and the new kid, sitting right next to her.

"Mark, you're not eating."

Amber interrupted his thoughts, reminding him the nightmare wasn't over yet. Sighing, he pushed the food around his plate just to look busy. Normally, he would scarf down his lunch in two bites, but he didn't have much of an appetite today. Mark could only hope his parents wouldn't fight during dinner so he could eat at least one meal in peace.

"They used to serve this stuff at my old school," the new kid — Carter — added. "I don't blame you for not eating it. It's always gross."

Mark didn't respond. He wasn't trying to be mean, but his stomach was in knots. Truthfully, he was too nervous to talk for fear of saying the wrong thing. All morning, Amber had raved about her new neighbor, saying how nice he was and insisting they show him around. And Carter was nice. When Mark joined them at the table, Carter waved and even offered some of his fruit snacks. But Mark didn't want to ruin things for Amber, or worse, make Carter think he was weird, so sitting quietly seemed like his best choice.

But Mark feared the whole meal was a recipe for disaster. He didn't like the way their lunch table looked with three people. The proportions were off, he hated the unevenness — something was just wrong. Part of him wished Carter had moved into a different house so he'd just be the new kid, not someone new in their lives.

"Well, Mark and I can probably play, too. Right, Mark?"

His face flushed; he had totally zoned out the conversation. "Huh?"

"Soccer, silly. Carter says he plays with his dad sometimes, so I thought it'd be fun if we played too." Some of the easiness left her face as she studied him closer. "Are you ok? You look kinda sick."

Mark nodded, going back to his plate. "Yeah, I'm ok. Sounds fun."

"You can borrow some of my stuff if you want," Carter offered. When Mark glanced up again, he was surprised to find Carter directing it towards him.

"Oh, uh, thanks." He looked to Amber, who nodded encouragingly: keep going. "And thanks for inviting us, too."

Carter shrugged. "No big deal. It'll be cool to play with other kids again. I missed the season this year because of the move."

Just as he reached down to grab a napkin, Amber did too. Their fingers lingered before jumping apart in a rush. Mark didn't miss the blush that crept up Carter's neck, or the way Amber studied her food intently, biting back a smile. She was acting differently with him around, which didn't make Mark feel any better. Amber was the one thing he never wanted to change.

"So, how about today after school?" Carter asked, shooting Amber a furtive glance.

Mark knew her answer before she finished chewing.

"Can't," she muttered, disappointment hanging off every word. "I have to ask my mom three days before doing anything. She'll get mad if I don't."

"Oh," Carter said. "Well, we can just do Thursday then." He turned back to Mark. "Unless you still wanna hang today."

Mark felt like a deer in headlights, completely lost for words. He wasn't used to kids noticing him, much less asking to hang out. Amber was all he had. She was shooting him another look. Say yes, say yes, say yes!

And he almost did. But a table over, someone dropped a plate, the glass shattering on impact. It made Mark think of the dishes at home, his father hurling them across the table. He thought of his mother shouting things he wasn't allowed to say. Then he thought of Ronnie and his sisters, dealing with all of it without him.

He would risk leaving them alone for Amber — but not for the new kid.

"Um, can't." Mark focused back at his plate. "My mom, too..."

He could feel their eyes on him, but he didn't look up for the rest of the meal. When the bell rang, he was on his feet and out the door before Amber and Carter even cleared their plates.