Unfulfilled Life

Part 7

Trigger warning, mentions of Ed's and not wanting to eat.
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C O L E

It has been a week since Andi had kissed me. But he acts like nothing happened.

Do I want something to happen?

Well hell YES!

Why is he acting like he didn't make out with me! Does he not want me? Am I just an object to him?

Whatever, I said I was just going to be his friend anyway but I can't really help my feelings.

I have no idea.

I lay in the dark of night thinking these thoughts in the darkness of my room. The moonlight shining through lighting my blankets with a white, blue hue. The blues of the night illuminated my room.

I finally got a bed but it's really squeaky and uncomfortable. Although it is better than sleeping on the floor. I can't help but think about how comfortable and warm Andi's bed was, it made me feel strange. I close my eyes slowly feeling my tiredness hit me like a truck.

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I wake up and stretch my arms wide glancing at the dull room, I then got up to take a shower.

After my wonderful shower I put on some skinny blue jeans, with a grey shirt. It's a plain look but I've never been much of a creative person so I just shrugged it off. I walked out of my room and into the kitchen, I didn't want to eat breakfast, there wasn't a lot in the fridge so I decided to skip. I soon left, grabbing my keys and locking the door.

I'm not really used to eating much. We've never had much money to get food like that, even if we could buy in bulk, we were really that poor. I always eat snacks, but I know its not healthy it's just the way I lived. Also, I always feel the need to let my mom have all the food she wants. It might not make since, but my mom has been there for my every step of the way and if I can do a simple little thing, like give her more food, then maybe I'm repaying her back for all the awesome things she's done for me.

I never wanted to be a burden to my family. It makes me sad that my dad thought I was this to him. But now that I'm living alone with my mom I don't want her to have that burden. I only come around when she asks and I eat a little bit then give her the rest of my food. She needs the strength, since she works a lot in order to keep our house and pay the bills.

I walk with slow strides to the bus stop. Getting there a bit early than I usually do, I make my way to the curb and sit down playing 'darkness rises' on my phone.

"Hey Cole, what's up?" Andi ran up to me excitedly. "What's the occasion. You seem extra wooooo!" I overly sarcastically put it. "Oh well I just couldn't wait to see you." He smirked winking at me. I felt my heart drop in that moment. It always did that whenever he says those kind of things. My eyes widen and my cheeks feel hot with redness as I stared into those beautiful ocean blue eyes. "Thanks, I wanted to see me too." I retorted. "Really? I don't think you can see yourself without a mirror." He smirked. I rolled my eyes and stood to see behind me. Good thing I did I probably would have gotten hit by the bus approaching. The bus stopped and opened its doors. We walked up to it and made our way up the steps. We found an empty seat towards that back and sat down while we talked idlely before getting off the bus when it stopped at our school.

School was boring as per usual and for a straight A student, it makes me sleepy. To be in a class filled with idiotic people who don't even know what 2+2 is. "Mr. Davis can you tell me who created Cuneiform." Mr. Hearth smirked because he thought I was stupid like everyone else. "The answer is the Samaritans sir." I said looking back at the window. He stood there shocked but quickly recovered. "Okay Mr. Davis, if you think your so smart answer me this wha-" He started but I finished. I told him the answer to the question he was asking without even hearing the question. I never talk much at school so for me this was extremely rare. "Correct!" he said dashing off to the next lesson.

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Lunch was okay but it started to hurt more than it should. Well, first off it shouldn't hurt.

I could barely sit anymore everything was getting hot and compacted. It was like I was in a small room and the walls were shifting in on me. "Cole are you alright? You don't look so good." He sweetly whispered in my ear. Which would normally send shivers down my spine, but today it made me want to throw up. "Yea I'm fine." I mumbled standing up just to fall hard on the laminate floors. I heard gasps and screams from all around me, it made my head pound erratically, making the pain worse. "Cole. . .Cole wake up!" I heard voices in my head telling me to wake up. But I was just too tired to keep my eyes open.

Everything was dark.

It hurt, my stomach hurt.

My head hurt, my eyes hurt.

My whole body hurt.

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I woke up to a white porcelain ceiling. I looked to my right to see the nurse's desk.

Andi and Nurse Patty were leaning over me staring as I woke up.

My head was still hurting so I took my time sitting up properly. "Be careful Cole your in a lot of pain you might have to go to the hospital." Andi shared with concern. "No." I shouted instantly regretting as it sent me into a wave of pain as I laid back down holding my chest. "Be careful. I don't want you to get hurt. I told the nurse about your situation and she saw your stomach. It looks a lot worse then when I saw it. Are you eating properly cuz she said you might have an eating disorder." He slowly talked.

Tears started to swell in my eyes as I lay on the bed looking at those ocean blue eyes filled with hurt, sadness, and grief. "It's okay Andi I've been like this for the longest time. Don't cry for my sake please." I choked out.

He cups my cheek and leans in for a kiss putting his big lips onto my small ones. It was soft and gentle. Not like the kiss we had last Saturday.

He pulled away, his tears falling on my face. We sat there while the nurse called my mom about the incident in the cafeteria.

Andi skipped his classes for me. He was so sweet and thoughtful. He cried for my sake.

He is really special to me. Andi as made me feel like I belong somewhere when no else has. He didn't take pity on, but instead he felt like he had to comfort me some how.

I guess I have to come out to my mom. But I don't want to cause her anymore worry. Why? Why do I have to be a burden on everyone with my stupid actions?

I sighed longingly and rested my head on the pillow laying comfortably on the leather bed.

A while later I felt a little bit better and wanted to go back to class.

As me and Andi were walking out of the nurses office we just so happen to bump or get pushed to the ground by no other than Lenny himself.

"Well. Well. Well, look who we have here. The 2 f*gs of the school walking down together. Did you two just get done fuckin' in the restroom." He coldly spit. "Can you just leave us alone you dumbass." After hearing what Lenny did to Andi I felt really bad to see them fight like this. "Oh getting defensive and trying to act like a man in front of your little boyfriend." He pointed. "He's not my boyfriend Lenny. You really need help if you keep bothering us like this. What is wrong with you, have you nothing else better to do." I shouted which made my head hurt so much. I really have got to do something about this. I mean I was already swaying side to side almost falling over in the process of yelling.

Lenny looked pissed as he leaped forward at me knocking my fragile body to the floor.

I couldnt get back up.

My whole body was so heavy. I opened my eyes a little to peek at Andi and Lenny fighting it looked like Andi was winning, hopefully, until I started to close my eyes.

"Cole please don't close your eyes. . .Cole! Cole please." Andi hysterically sobbed.