Revision (COMPLETE)

Chapter 31

Part Three: Life Inexplicably Goes on

Chapter 31

After the children were safely ensconced in their beds, the laundry folded and the kitchen scoured, Delaney settled in on the couch with a bottle of Grand Traverse Sweet Red, a crystal goblet and her laptop. She always stocked wine from her home state of Michigan, a small yet comforting reminder of where she'd come from. Tonight it was her favorite red from the tip of the mitten; Traverse City. She filled the glass to the rim, taking a large slurp before she fired up her computer. Liquid courage, she thought to herself. Not that she needed to be brave, she was only going to talk to Fin for goodness sake, something that she had done quite regularly back in the day. But she did have to admit, she was a little nervous. Over the past week, she'd been allowing herself to remember things, stroll down memory lane, if you will. This was a difficult task for her considering the amount of energy it had taken to expel these thoughts from her head in the first place. It was like an exorcism of sorts, the ridding and purging of Fin from every corner of her brain. But it hadn't been foolproof and at the most unexpected times his smile would sneak into her thoughts or he would pop uninvited into her dreams, sending her into a guilty tailspin every time. Basically, she did her best to avoid these setbacks, because the detox that followed was even more painful.

But now, here she was ready to chat with Fin. A 'chat-date' of sorts, coordinated by herself and with her late-husbands blessing. She smiled, taking another sip of the wine as her homepage loaded. The wine slid down her throat, leaving a warm trail all the way down deep in her belly. Shane had insisted she get in touch with Fin, and assured her that she should move on and be happy. He did not want her pining away and raising their kids alone. Matter of fact, Shane's exact words had been, "I've raised his son, now he can help raise my daughter." The words had blindsided Delaney, as he lay in the hospital bed too weak to speak above a whisper. She'd long suspected that Shane wasn't Declan's biological father, even though they'd never chosen to do a paternity test. When he was a baby, there was no way of knowing with his ordinary blue eyes and dusting of brownish hair. However, right around the time their own daughter was born, Declan's features had begun to shift. His eyes became a more pale and startling blue, and his hair was becoming darker and darker. By the time Declan's second birthday rolled around, he was Fin's clone. She often wondered if the rest of the Traverse family noticed it, especially Tara and Tamara.

They never discussed the matter, even though Delaney was sure that Shane knew it too. It didn't matter to him and as far as he was concerned, he couldn't have loved Declan more if he were his own flesh and blood. Tears sprung to mind as she thought of Shane, reminiscing about what a great father and husband he had been, and more importantly how selfless and giving. It had worked out much better without Fin sharing holidays and birthdays and taking her baby away for designated weekends. He wasn't reliable and would have hurt Declan too, just like he had walked out on her. She was positive she had made the right decision. Although guilt was still rearing up, unbidden, reminding her of the promise she'd made to her dear husband moments before he'd died. "More than anything in my life I've loved being a father, it changes the very foundation of who you are. Give Fin that same opportunity. Don't make him wait any longer to learn that he has a son."

Delaney had made a deal with herself that she would tell Fin at the funeral. They hadn't seen Fin in years, and never spoke of him, however their friendship had began long before Delaney had come into the picture. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would be there to pay his respects to his long time friend. But he wasn't. He didn't bother to show up or even send a card. It was that moment Delaney decided it was best for her son to have a memory of a great father that was no longer with him than bad experiences with an unreliable man who didn't seem to value love.