The Brexit Chronicles

Rat Trap

Published on September the 3rd, 2019. 15.20.

It will be a miracle if in the next 36 hours or so the political class don't finally jump the shark and blow up Brexit by passing Hilary Benn's European Union (Abject Surrender) (No. 6) spoiler Bill in the certain knowledge of what that will lead to. The draft would then be expedited to the House of Lords where it seems likely to be approved. As a result, BoJo will make good on his threat and call a General Election to be held, most likely on October the 14th. God damn them all to Hell!

There is already a problem though; thanks to the Fixed Term Parliament Act, two-thirds of the House of Commons must support a dissolution, and it seems that the anti-democrats will refuse to do so until their sabotage is enshrined in law. Perhaps Mrs Windsor will be drawn into this widening gyre, being forced to break the impasse by exercising the Royal Perogative to force the poll.

Though an inevitability given the circumstances, an election is the very last thing we need right now: Either having the Tories in coalition with the DUP governing until twenty-fucking-twenty-four, or suffering a muddle in the middle-class melange of the europhile Labour and Lib-Dems; an alliance of the didactic, prosecco quaffing, Islington dwelling, patronisingly sanctimonious Guardian reading wankers, brazenly demonstrating their contempt for the will of the people; a combination likely to ignite the Second English Civil War when they abandon any pretence at representation and cite a tissue thin 'mandate' as the pretext to withdraw the Article 50 declaration.

Alternatively there is a third outcome which is even worse, yet the most feasible; a near-repeat of the current parliamentary arithmetic: A permanent deadlock caused by Benn's Bill, along with the EU - with whom thanks to May's spoiling tactics, legal competence to decide the UK's Exit Date now resides - unilaterally granting a series of further unwanted but mandatory 'flextensions' ad-infinitum... So far from being a cathartic once and for all decisive episode, the forthcoming election - whatever the date or result - is a prospect which fills me with a gnawing sense of dread. Tony B-liar warned Jeremy Corbyn against falling into an 'elephant trap' set by Boris Johnson, but in reality it's a rat trap Judy - and all of us have been caught!